Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’: Chapter 22
In the twenty-second chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, everything is just fucked up. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.
CHAPTER 22: ST. MUNGO’S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES
8 REASONS WHY HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX IS FUCKED UP
Solely taken from Chapter 22
1) Dumbledore spends his nights talking to paintings.
No, seriously, this may seem cute and humorous, but to me, it just makes me really sad because I want to be Dumbledore’s friend because it sounds like he doesn’t have any.
2) Dumbledore likes to do things to tease us with knowledge of something terrible, but then never actually explain them.
What the fuck was that weird silver instrument that Dumbledore used that conjured up a dual snake made of smoke? J.K. ROWLING, WHY DO YOU TEASE US SO
3) Harry’s “vision” was real and Mr. Weasley is dying from a poisonous snake wound.
Please stop with the tragedy. Thanks. I really appreciate it.
4) Harry is flipping out and there’s no justifiable reason for it.
A mere second before Dumbledore’s Portkey kicks into effect, Harry’s scar burns “white-hot” and he feels an intense and violent hatred of Dumbledore, as if the snake that bit Mr. Weasley is inside him. GREAT. Now the wizarding world also has really inconvenient possession in it, too.
5) The entire scene inside Sirius’s house.
It simply could not be more depressing, especially when there’s a point where the entire family, minus Bill and the parents, are simply sitting around a table, aimlessly drinking Butterbeer, and watching a candle melt. whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyy
6) No one understands Harry Potter.
And I don’t mean this as another way for me to make fun of his neverending angst. But Harry has to deal with the fact that Sirius does not seem to actually get the fact that the rage he felt for Dumbledore was not himself. And Sirius just brushes him off.
7) Mr. Weasley was bit by a snake whose poison PREVENTS THE WOUNDS FROM EVER CLOSING, SO HE COULD BLEED TO DEATH AT ANY MOMENT.
Of course Mr. Weasley’s a trooper about the whole thing, but what the fuck?!?!?!?! That is a horrifying, horrifying thing.
8) Oh wait, they actually DO understand Harry Potter and he’s (possibly) being possessed by Voldemort.
Using the Extendable Ears, Fred, George, Ginny, Ron, and Harry listen in on Mad-Eye Moody, Tonks, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley talking about the situation. They obviously believe that Voldemort sent the snake and that Mr. Weasley’s presence actually prevented Voldy from seeing anything more inside the Ministry; however, they quickly move to the subject of Harry. Mad-Eye says, “Obviously, Potter doesn’t realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who’s possessing him—“
The conversation is cut off because Harry stops listening. And he sees that all his friends are looking at him with fear in their eyes.
On a positive note! St. Mungo’s is another imagined world that Rowling provides a lot of details for, so let’s not have the comments be all GLOOM AND DOOM forever. What’s your favorite single detail Rowling provides in the St. Mungo’s scenes?
My submission: Broderick Bode thinking—nay, insisting that he’s actually a teapot.