Fangs V. Fur: Why the Elves Were Excluded

Let me be the first to say I’m all about Elvish rights. I’m a firm support of the Sylvan Inclusion Act of 1856, and I am the first to bitch slap anyone who wears a “Points are for arrows, not for ears!” button.

But they couldn’t be included in the Fangs v. Fur poll.

Why, you ask? Because that would be disrespecting the Elven Oath of Neutrality on this matter.

Somewhere around 1088, a delegation gathered and voted that, as a result of the great loss of lives, elves and most tribes of faeries would remain neutral in the matter of vampires versus werewolves and would have only interfere in the werewolves versus witches battle should one of their own be placed in danger (the interbreeding of witch and faery being somewhat common in those days. It’s a custom that MOSTLY died out somewhere around 1790).

And I respect the elves. Respect them deeply. For all I know there’s elven blood in my past, can’t be totally sure. I admire their contributions to society and all that.

So they are not an option in the poll. I apologize to those of you I have offended.

Except for the Prince of Mirkwood. Little fucker never returns my calls.