The Hills: Season 2, episode 1 commentz

Much to my boyfriend’s dismay, I now consider it part of “my job” to watch The Hills.

No, I don’t think they’re geniuses nor do I think their life is THAT fascinating. But it is of local interest– I kind of doubt I’d be engaged by some kids living it up in some place I’d never been. I’m just that self-absorbed.

Case in point: When that two-timing prick, Spencer, took both Heidi and Audrina to Don Antonio’s and cited it as “the best mexican food everrrr” I could back up that statement. Well, El Compadre is pretty damn good, too– but that’s in Hollywood, not “the middle of nowhere” like Heidi said it was. The middle of nowhere, in case you were wondering, is actually on Pico, in West LA.

So this new guy, Spencer, blows any Barbie-Ken jokes made about Lauren&Jason right out of the water, cause homeboy is a dead ringer for that plastic hunkajunk.

At least if he had blue eyes he would. Maybe Spencer’s head is too square.

Anyway, he’s seeing both Heidi and Audrina, pretending like he’s not and Audrina’s all “Whaaa? I totally don’t get why she’s mad at me… *flirt flirt flirt*

Granted, producers could have edited the hell out of it, but this new guy still reeks of insincerity. As do most the Laguna Beach/Hills male cast, with their complete absence of facial expressions and “I miss you”s that fall flatter than that Sierra Mist that’s been in my fridge for 2 months.

And Heidi might be PREGNANT with Ken, Jr.!

Anyway, it kind of sucks that Lauren is The Girl Who Didnt Go To Paris, but Goddamn, I’m still mad about that.

Best conversation of the episode:Jen: Check out that guy at six o’clock (referring to the location of the guy, not the time)Lauren: (looks confused) What? I don’t know where six o’clock is.(both pause)Jen: I mean eleven o’clock. Eleven o’clock.(pause)Jen: Over there.

Quote of The Season, thus far: “The only time I miss having a boyfriend is when I have to put something together, when I have to pick something out– like a TV–. or when I have A LOT of groceries.” – Lauren

ps. Do these hos eat anything other than Don Antonio’s and PinkBerry?pps. Please also venture over to Tabloidwhore’s hilarious ep 1 recap.