Nurses Share The Most Cringe-Worthy Baby Names That They’ve Encountered In Their Careers
If celebrities can choose names like X Æ A-12 and Blue Ivy, why can't the rest of us get creative with baby names? That said, there’s a line—and names like "Fallopia" probably shouldn’t cross it.
At the very least, think about the child’s future… because even if you don’t find it embarrassing, they almost certainly will.
Fallopia
"My coworker went to school with a girl named Fallopia.
I can't help but feel sorry for her—especially during biology class when the Fallopian tubes were being discussed." — Reddit
The Reverend
"I know a couple whose chosen baby name was rejected by the Canadian government. They wanted to name their son 'The Reverend,' but were told titles can’t be used as given names." — Reddit/MidniteProph
It makes you wonder how long they used the name before the government stepped in.
Corn Peas
"My brother once suggested naming our soon-to-be younger brother Corn Peas, and our parents nearly agreed—just because they felt bad for asking his opinion and then dismissing it. Luckily, they changed their minds." — Reddit/BigOrangeBall
Now, let's speculate—did he pick the name because he loved corn and peas, or was it his way of showing how he really felt about his little brother?
MegaNathan
"I'm neither of those, but I did have a college classmate named Meganathan… Still can’t understand why plain old Nathan wasn’t enough." — Reddit/DebugLifeChoseMe
Nathan’s a great name on its own, but maybe his parents wanted something a bit more unforgettable—like Nathan, but with extra flair.
Monster Galileo
"The nurse tried to talk them out of it. Child services got involved. They were adamant. The kid's named Galileo. Honestly, I think it could work as a name for an adult or a performer, but being a kid named 'Monster’ must be tough at school." — Reddit/WeaselBit
Does anyone else immediately think of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ when they hear Galileo?
Colon, Instead Of Collin
"A couple wanted to name their son 'Collin' but wanted to give him a 'unique' spelling for it. They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N. When the midwife explained to them what that spelling meant, they were painfully embarrassed and asked her to write it down with the normal spelling instead." — Reddit
Unique spellings are all fun and games until you go to Starbucks...
Blue And Red
"Not a midwife, but I lived with a student midwife during college. The first twins she helped deliver were named 'Red' and 'Blue.'" — Reddit/Flaky_Walrus_668
At least they'll always have someone to relate to. Just imagine the twist if Red preferred blue and Blue loved red.
Kirby—After The Vaccum
"My mom wanted to name me Kirby. After her vacuum. Thankfully my dad talked her out of it." — Reddit/Omfgimaweirdo
On the bright side, Kirby is also the name of a cute pink character from a beloved video game series—so it might not have been that bad.
Ichy Rusty Ford
"My mom wanted to name my baby brother Ichabod Rusty. Our last name is Ford. She was dead set on calling him Ichy Rusty Ford. It had her laughing through the whole pregnancy—until my dad finally put his foot down and said, 'Absolutely not.'" — Reddit/omega12596
It's the kind of name that begins as a joke… until it suddenly becomes real—and then you’re stuck with it for life.
War And Plague
"My ex-husband didn't think it was fair that girls could be named 'Grace' or 'Hope' etc and seriously suggested 'Pestilence,' 'War,' or 'Plague' for a boy. Fortunately, we never had any children." — Reddit/Flaky_Walrus_668
The actual fortunate part of the story here is that she also divorced him.
Sky But With An "I"
"Before I was born, my dad wanted to name me Sky... but he thought swapping the 'y' for an 'i' would be cute. Thank goodness my mom was smarter, or I might have ended up named Ski." — Reddit/Bingo-Bongo-Cat
Honestly, we're still puzzled about why an 'i’ is supposed to be cuter than a ‘y’ in the first place.
Vzyiion—The V Is Silent
"She said she wanted to name him Zion, and we were like, 'Oh cool, no problem.' So we handed her the paperwork to fill out for the chart, and she wrote down Vzyiion. Then she looked us straight in the eye and said, 'The V is silent.'"
And it gets even wilder: "She also gave him five middle names—because she wasn't sure who the father was, so she just included them all." — Reddit/Athuny
Eggbert, Egg For Short
"My boyfriend was almost named Eggbert... But mostly Egg for short. So glad they passed on that one!" — Reddit/greenqueen420420
We have a lot of questions, but the main one is: why eggs, of all foods? Sure, they're healthy, but why not choose something more fun, like spaghetti?
Peggy, With One Leg
"I have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife." — Reddit/Dudephish
Peggy sounds like a middle-aged pirate, like the female version of Captain Jack Sparrow, except with less eyeliner.
Sweet Prayer Sunrise
"I worked at a registrar for a while and among the birth certificates I got some of the standouts I saw were: Killer, and Sweet Prayer Sunrise (this one was a boy)" — Reddit/Not-an-Ocelot
Those names are ironically on opposite ends of the spectrum...Almost like it was planned.
Sunshine Isn't A Real Name
"My boyfriend's grandmother wanted to name her daughter Sunshine. The midwife said that wasn't allowed because 'it wasn't a real name, and his grandmother had no other backup baby names.
So, a few minutes later when she heard someone down the hall screaming 'Tina', she named her daughter Tina because she couldn't think of anything else on the spot." — Reddit/goddesswithgatos
