20 Totally Hilarious Vet Clinic Signs That Were Definitely Written By A Pet Owner
No matter what era someone finds themselves owning a business in, one of the biggest responsibilities they'll have is promoting it. There's always competition in any given field and there's always a struggle to attract customers toward their specific services.
That's why everything from barbecue restaurants to churches to vet clinics will be inclined to write something fun, breezy, and humorous on their signs outside. And as this selection of photos proves, it's hard to beat vet clinics in that department.
Dogs are so lovable but they may not be if they were human
With their boundless energy, readily-given affection, and pure beauty, dogs make themselves incredibly easy to love. Yet, this vet clinic's sign is a good reminder that if they were granted the powers that humans are, people might start to feel a little differently about them.
After all, it's pretty concerning behavior if a person won't stop calling and it's hard not to admit that a dog would do the same thing. And it wouldn't make most people feel any more comfortable if that person started heavily panting or barking. Let's keep dogs as they are.
As long as it's not flooding or burning anything, it's fine
For cat owners, the real hazard to listen for isn't the bumping or crashing sounds in the night. If the cats broke something, there's not much to be done about it. Instead, a more worrying noise is the high-pitched retching that cats make when something in their stomachs disagree with them.
Unless a cat is trying to remake the Home Alone movies, whatever it broke will probably have a tough time doubling as a trap. The same cannot be said for the gross land mine they left behind after making those retching sounds. It could be anywhere.
Well, at least nobody has time to get their hopes up
Sometimes, it can be a little hard to tell whether a sign was put up as a joke or as a response to a genuine incident. And this vet sign noting that only the little patients being brought into the clinic are eligible for free belly rubs is a pretty good example.
On the one hand, it's a sweet way to tell people that the vets are as affectionate with people's pets as they are. On the other hand, it's really not hard to picture someone with the audacity to lift their shirt and look at the vet expectantly.
This clinic's got a million of them
There's a clear theme to a lot of this vet clinic's signs and they're a great argument for why it's probably best that pets can't read. It's hard enough to get them to agree to vet visit without giving them the impression they're going to be neutered every time.
After all, neutering them may make them less nuts (har har) but telling them that's about to happen tends to have the opposite effect. And the cat will just say they can stop the catnip anytime.
Somebody must have felt very clever that day
Although people have used the name of Shih Tzu to make vaguely naughty puns for years, this is probably a new one. And that's commendable because coming up with an original twist on anything is getting harder every day.
It makes for a surprisingly strong promise, too. It's just hard not to wonder whether negative reviews of the clinic use the same punny device to complain about it. The best way to know for sure is if a suspicious number of them claim to have bulldog Shih Tzu cross-breeds.
Why is that the only thing that kills their appetite?
Although humans and animals are often similarly nervous about going to the doctor, most humans can at least say that they'll take the medicine they're given. For some reason, dogs seem convinced that it's some kind of cyanide pill that was secretly slipped into their meals.
Honestly, who do they think did that? Considering how aggressively they react to this person's presence, the answer would probably be a postal worker. Sadly, they probably wouldn't be able to call their owner a donkey like Ramsay does if they learned the truth.
Well, it's not any more provocative than the original lyrics
It's hard to imagine that even Lil Jon could have predicted how much his song would make people happily sing about sweaty testicles over 20 years later, but the animals probably aren't as excited about their version. In fairness, that doesn't sound like most people's idea of a party.
It's a concept worth celebrating for owners who don't want any unexpected puppies, but "three six one, damn they're gone" doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Getting crunk isn't really good for dogs, anyway. It's like chocolate.
Now, there's a message someone will actually appreciate
When a person passes along that another person says hi, there's usually just a little moment to acknowledge that before the conversation moves on. Maybe it'll warrant further discussion if nobody's seen that person in a long time.
However, it's a lot different with cats. They may not actually care who said, "pspspsps." As long as somebody did, they're just glad to have heard it. It's hard not to wish for that kind of enthusiasm. And it was already hard not to envy how honest cats are when they don't like someone.
These are words to live by
Although it's sadly true that the five-second rule is largely a myth, a dog owner could tell people that before scientists ever got around to studying it. After all, the question of whether bacteria stays on a dropped food item is much harder to answer when a dog's already eaten it.
That might be the only research project in which a scientist would be able to use the old "my dog ate my homework" excuse on a grant committee. That said, has anyone actually managed to use that line successfully?
Has there ever been a pet that enjoyed the cone?
It's rare to find a pet that isn't curious. No matter where they go, the chances are good that they're going to stick their faces into as many things as they can find. Although most people wouldn't be crazy enough to go anywhere near some of that stuff, that's not really how cats and dogs think.
So naturally, one of those mysterious discoveries is going to make them sick. Sadly, understanding that it sucks to wear the cone isn't quite the same as learning to avoid the activities that force them to wear one. The pet owner's struggle.
The dog probably wouldn't even question it
One thing that's great about dogs is that as long as their friends are happy and they're getting a lot of love and affection, it doesn't really matter what's going on. "Excited but unsure of what's going on" is practically the default mood for some of them.
So, if we were to make like Patrick Swayze and majestically lift our dogs in the air, it might startle them a little. However, it wouldn't be long before that big, dopey smile came back and they'd agree that nobody puts a fur baby in the corner.
Of course, the bladder will soon take notice
It's hard to imagine a better test of how much people love their cats than measuring how their plans change when the fuzzy little feline falls asleep on their lap. If their first instinct is to stay completely still, that cat's probably in a good home.
Of course, there are limits to how long anyone can hold out. Although folks can suffer through boredom to keep their cat sleeping soundly (and adorably), that doesn't mean they should soil themselves out of that commitment. The cat will understand.
Now, that's a tradition everyone can get behind
Although this isn't the only vet clinic's sign to make this pun, the occasion they tied it to makes it clearer that they're making one. For other versions, a clueless person might just take it as a simple request and nothing more.
However, a holiday as wild as Mardi Gras isn't just going to be an occasion where people show the world their adorable and probably grumpy cats. After all, that shouting and jazz music is probably getting in the way of their 12 hours of sleep that day.
That would at least provide an explanation
Although it's sometimes clear what a dog is barking at, it's sometimes legitimately hard not to imagine that another dog called them a jerk from a zip code away and it was somehow carried on the wind. And that goes double if it's an aggressive breed like a Chihuahua.
No matter how much we may want trust that our dogs aren't literally barking at nothing, it's also true that whatever they're mad at is usually happening far enough away that they might as well be an Amber Alert warning.
Some clinics put just as much care into the sign in the back
Although many vets hope their future clients will be charmed enough by the sign in the front of their practice to remember them, this clinic wants to make that fun-loving impression on their existing patients. That's why the staff put this sign in the parking lot.
The sign obviously is there to explain how the system works, but the "sit" and "stay" commands make it clear that the vet had a lot of fun with it. Honestly, the random cat butts are probably the bigger sign of that.
That cat's owner will swear it loves them, though
Among non-cat fans, there's a common perception that cats aren't social and hate their owners. Naturally, there are a lot of people with very affectionate cats who are happy to disprove any such notions. Even so, the way they show it does introduce some doubts sometimes.
Sure, it seems like the most logical explanation suggests the cat isn't aware of how delicately humans have to navigate stairs and just picked an inopportune moment to walk with us. But then, it keeps happening and it's hard not to wonder if they somehow heard about those millionaires who leave everything to their cats.
Just a little joke
Some vet signs are clever ways to tell people to spay their pets, while others are just a fun way of announcing that the clinic is open for business. However, those who pass by those signs often enough will find they're mainly a vehicle for corny jokes.
This one definitely fits that bill, but it's a little more clever than some of the ones that pop up. It's hard to argue with, too. It's probably how that term came to be at all.
That's life in a nutshell
Some folks will find that a piece of tape will stick to their fingers easier than what they're actually trying to put it on. Dog hair works more or less the same way. It's at its most useful when it stays on the dog but it seems to have other plans.
No matter how inseparable people are from their dogs, it seems their hair takes that attitude with literally everything else. And like cats, it seems most attracted to people who are allergic to it.
Now that's a fertile philosophical discussion
It sounds like the subject of one of those intense but ultimately pointless 1 am discussions, but one clinic boldly asked the world what dogs call their owners. Do they seem them as the parental figures that some people try to be? Do they have a concept of private ownership?
However, it may not matter that much whether they call people mommy, master, friend, or feed servant. The point is that they like us. Finding out what level they like us on may shatter illusions we're not ready for.
That's one argument for getting a pet their shots
Well, they're not wrong that dinosaurs never had any vaccines. It's probably for the best — as far as humanity is concerned — that they didn't but people aren't going to feel the same way about their beloved pets as they would monsters that could either stomp or eat them.
Granted, there probably isn't any kind of vaccine that can do much about a sudden meteor strike. But it's also true that there are a few possibilities for what killed the dinosaurs, so it's good to be prepared.
