This Couple Hid A Secret Note From Their Adopted Daughter For Decades
While adoption isn't for everyone, some couples feel that their life wouldn't be complete without that special addition. This was the case for Ken and Ruth Pohler, a couple who welcomed a Chinese daughter into their home in the mid '90s. However, with their daughter came a note that they would keep a secret for years to come. Only when their little girl was a grown woman who longed to meet her birth parents would they admit what was in that letter. Read on to see why these parents would hide such a thing, and why the note ultimately left their daughter with more questions than answers.
They Wanted To Adopt
Ken and Ruth Pohler were already birth parents of two boys, but they couldn't resist their desire to adopt. The Michigan couple was open to adopting a child from anywhere. Ruth's sister and Chinese brother-in-law had recently adopted from China.
The couple also considered China as a place to consider for adoption. Sure enough, when they looked into their options, there was a little girl in China in need of a home.
She Was Just Five Days Old
At just five days old, little Jingzhi was found bundled in a blanket, abandoned at a market in Suzhou, China. Once she was found, she was brought to a nearby institute for children.
A year later, Ken and Ruth were all set to adopt this mystery child. They met her in China and named her Kati. The happy family flew back to the states where Kati would be raised in Michigan alongside her new brothers.
Just Your Average Family
As far as anyone could tell, the Pohlers and their children were a well-adjusted, normal American family. Kati played music and did other typical activities a girl growing up in the states might do.
Being that Kati was Chinese and the rest of her family was American, it was more obvious that she was adopted but grew up without it having an impact on her daily life. She loved her parents and they loved her, so that seemed like enough.
Just Like Any American Child
Since Kati was adopted at such a young age, she only knew the American culture that she was raised in. As far as she was concerned, the biggest difference between her and her brothers was her age and the fact she was a girl.
However, her parents knew that there was something they were hiding from her. While they didn't want to confuse her as a young child, the day came when she was a grown adult. It was time to tell the truth.
The Secret Letter
When Kati was found, a note had been attached to her. Though what was written in the letter was moving, Ken and Ruth were adamant that it remain hidden from Kati until they felt that she was old enough to handle it.
At the same time, Ken Pohler admitted that he and his wife wanted to be sure that Kati's birth parents knew that she was being raised in a happy and safe home and that she would be taken care of. That's why they had their friend, Anne, do some research into who this note came from.
No Longer A Child
Meanwhile, Kati was growing older and more curious every day. Eventually, she was 21 years old and eager to know who her parents were. Hoping to study abroad, Kati wanted to be able to give a certain answer when people asked about who she was.
Like any child may feel, Kati was angry when Ken and Ruth admitted that they'd known about her biological parents for some time. Though she knew that she was adopted, she didn't know that information regarding her birth parents that had been hidden from her all this time.
A Desperate Couple
As it turns out, Kati's birth parents were Xu Lida and Qian Fenxiang from Hangzhou, China. The couple had discovered that they were expecting their second child, another girl, despite a law that was put into place.
In order to aid with poverty and population control, couples would only be permitted to have one child. The couple considered their options, knowing that they could incur a wild amount of fees for having a second child. They hoped they might just get away with it.
Then They Decided To Run
The couple spent months consumed in paranoia. They were terrified that someone would notice Qian's stomach and piece together the fact that she was pregnant with her second child. If this person wasn't on their side, they would report it to the authorities.
As a precaution, the expecting mother hid in a houseboat on the Suzhou canal. She remained there, 75 miles from their hometown, for the final six weeks of her pregnancy. Then the day came when it was time for the baby to be delivered.
Complications After The Birth
With the help of her husband and a trusted friend, Qian delivered Kati on the houseboat. They would have preferred to go to a hospital in order to prevent health complications but knew that was out of the question.
The hospital would have to report the birth to the government right away, putting Kati at risk. Fortunately, the baby was healthy and safe, arriving in July of 1995. While Qian did suffer some health problems after giving birth, she was able to see a physician without revealing her secret baby.
They Couldn't Keep Her
The couple named their second daughter Jingzhi. They knew that they could not hide her forever. Furthermore, they wouldn't be able to afford their new child after all of the fees that the government would place on them.
Fearing that the government would take matters into their own hands, the pair decided to make the most difficult choice of their lives. Five days after their child was born, the young couple decided to leave her at a vegetable market. They knew it would be crowded and that someone would find her and bring her to the proper facilities.
They Wrote A Note
Now we come back to the aforementioned note. The young parents had only a note to explain the heartbreaking circumstances that brought them to abandoning their child at a vegetable market.
The letter detailed their daughter's first name and birth and explained that the parents could not raise her due to poverty and the government. Assuming that their baby girl would be gone forever, they left, desperately hoping that someone would care for her as their own.
One Important Detail
The letter ended with a spark of hope that they might see Jingzhi again one day. Her parents requested that whoever finds their baby bring her to the Broken Bridge in Hangzhou the morning of the Qixi Festival in a decade or two.
Jingzhi's parents made good on their request, waiting all day at the Broken Bridge in 2005. Meanwhile, Jingzhi, renamed Kati, was in America with her adoptive parents. But the Pohler's hadn't forgotten about the request, either.
The Day Had Finally Come
Ken and Ruth Pohler had devised a plan that would prevent Kati from knowing about her complicated past at just ten years old, while also reassuring her concerned birth parents. They had their friend, Annie, who often go to China for business, head to the Broken Bridge.
Unfortunately, Annie missed the couple, arriving at the bridge after they had already left. That's when she spotted a camera crew, who managed to help connect Annie with Qian and Xu. A decade after leaving their little baby behind, they finally knew that she was okay.
Access Denied
Rather than coming together, the Pohlers decided that Kati's birth parents knew enough. They instructed Annie to end communication with them. According to Ruth, she wanted Kati to decide later in life if she wanted to know her biological parents.
Knowing that their daughter was safe but being denied further access to her, Qian and Xu continued with their everyday life. They opened up a second-hand electric appliance store and were able to attain a two-bedroom home for themselves and their daughter.
They Never Gave Up
Despite being denied access to their biological daughter, the couple refused to give up. They went to the bridge every year during the Qixi Festival. Additionally, news about what happened had broken out.
The film crew that had helped Annie find Xu and Qian did a story on the girl, which eventually got around to filmmaker Chang Changfu. Coincidentally, he was set to make a documentary about children who had been adopted from China.
Hope Was Restored
Chang decided to try his own hand at tracking down Kati's adoptive parents. His determination grew after he met with Kati's birth parents and discovered how badly they wanted to know their daughter.
After some skillful sleuthing, Chang managed to track down the name Ken Pohler, along with a photo that matched him to the man in another photo Annie had given to Kati's biological parents. He was able to get into touch with the Pohlers but, once again, the couple declined any involvement on behalf of Kati.
No Longer Their Decision
This back and forth had spanned some years, so the Pohlers had to face the fact that Kati was no longer under their control. Their power was officially renounced when Kati, now 21-years-old, asked about her adoption.
At last, Ruth and Ken opened up to Kati about her origins and how the past two decades had played out behind closed doors. Once Kati had absorbed all of this shocking information, she reached out to filmmaker Chang Changfu in order to set up a time to meet her biological parents.
They Finally Were Reunited
After 22 years of waiting, Kati's biological parents were finally able to meet their grown daughter. Her father knew that it wouldn't be enough to apologize, but her mother couldn't help but beg Kati for forgiveness.
Qian first exclaimed in Mandarin that she was sorry and commented on how much they look alike. However, she quickly realized that Kati could not understand her since she only spoke English and did not speak a word of Mandarin.
Coming Home
Despite feeling overwhelmed, Kati agreed to stay with her birth parents and the sister she didn't even know existed. The family struggled to communicate with one another but were at least able to share a meal.
In the two days that Kati stayed with them, she was also able to meet her grandmother, who simply took Kati's hand in her own. Finally able to understand the broken system that her parents were confined to, Kati recalled having several moments where she was able to finally see how much her biological parents care for her.
She Discovered Her Origin
As the pieces fell together, Kati began to see the extreme poverty that her parents had constantly faced and how different her upbringing had been due to the circumstances. While she was not able to immediately see Xu and Qian as her birth parents, she could at least understand where they were coming from all of this time.
Kati admits that it's both a good and confusing thing that she knows more about where she comes from. While her upbringing was completely void of Asian culture, she now can put together the parts of her that were previously absent.
