Bridesmaid Goes Viral For Calling Out Expensive Wedding “Culture” That Cost Her Big
Once you hit a certain age in life, it seems like every other weekend is suddenly taken up by weddings and wedding-related events.
There are engagement parties, bridal showers, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and then the wedding itself. All of these events can rack up quite the tab.
Weddings can be expensive
Although weddings are exciting, it's no secret that they can be insanely expensive.
If you have attended a wedding recently you know that the expenses are not limited to the bride and groom.
Engagements signal the start of a series of wedding events
With every engagement announcement from a close friend comes the inevitable schedule of wedding-related events— each of which has its own price tag.
The excitement of the big day can be slightly overshadowed by the impending credit card bill.
Being in the wedding party is even more expensive
Being a member of someone's wedding party requires even more of a commitment of your time and finances.
Unfortunately, making incredible memories for the bride and groom often costs a pretty penny.
A bridesmaid named Erin is speaking out about the cost of a bachelorette trip
![erin]](https://www.buzznet.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/erin.jpg-12416.JPG?width=480&height=720 "erin]")
A young woman named Erin has recently gone viral on TikTok for sharing a video titled "Bachelorette Vacations."
The clip, which is nearly two minutes long, shows Erin narrating her experience of preparing to attend a bachelorette vacation.
Her now-viral video has over 10K comments
The clip has now been viewed over 800K times and racked up over 10K comments from people with opinions on Erin's tricky situation.
Her video begins with her explaining "So I'm packing right now to go on a bachelorette trip this weekend – not a bachelorette party, but a bachelorette vacation."
The bridal party had to pay for the bride's portion of the bachelorette trip
Erin continues, "We are flying across the country for five days...I wanted to ask you guys: How do you feel about the bridesmaids paying for the bride's portion of the bachelorette party?"
She then offered some background information on the situation.
They didn't know they were paying for the bride until after it was already booked
Erin, who calls herself a "gen z personal finance" advisor on social media, explained that the bachelorette party was responsible for paying for the bride's flight and her portion of the Airbnb.
She added that the girls weren't aware they would be paying for the bride until after they booked the Airbnb.
The Airbnb was initially $240 a person
She admits that she finds it "a little weird" that they weren't told about the extra expenses.
Erin was responsible for booking the group's Airbnb on her credit card and it was estimated to be about $240 a person which she describes as "not too bad."
The flight was $400 per person and one girl backed out at the last minute
But the Airbnb was just the beginning of the expenses. Erin continues, "We each had to book a $400 flight."
To make matters costlier, after booking the Airbnb one girl decided to drop out of the bachelorette party raising the price for the remaining members.
The MOH did not want the bride to pay a cent
Erin explains that multiple people were Venmoing her back the Airbnb money (using a popular cash transfer app).
The maid of honor (MOH) sent a message to the party group that didn't include the bride saying "Hey, I just saw that the bride Venmoed Erin, what did she Venmo you for?'"
The bridal party was supposed to pay the bride's Airbnb and her flight
In response, Erin said that the bride had sent money for her portion of the Airbnb.
The MOH texted back in the group chat to say that the whole group was responsible for paying for the bride's Airbnb AND her flight.
Each person was told what they owed the bride
The MOH then text the group how much each person owed the bride to reimburse her.
At this point, Erin knew that she wanted to say speak up and say that these prices were out of her comfort zone but felt uncomfortable.
Erin didn't want to speak up in a group of 9 girls
"When you're in a group message with nine other girls, you're not going to speak up and say, 'Oh, I don't think we should be paying for this, or I didn't realize this, it's out of my budget, XYZ.'"
There is a bit of an unspoken pressure to go with the flow because everyone else is.
She also didn't feel like backing out was an option
Erin continues, "I don't know – the whole thing is just weird to me because obviously, I agreed to go to the bachelorette party, so it would be weird for me to back out after I already booked the Airbnb."
With that said, she goes on to outline the things she was really not okay with.
Erin struggles setting her financial boundaries
Like many people, Erin admits to struggling with setting boundaries when it comes to her finances.
She says "I think I just have a problem when someone tells me how much I owe them without asking me if that's an amount I'm comfortable with."
It's her first time as a bridesmaid
"Everyone makes a different amount of money and everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to spending money on a trip like this."
With the situation explained, Erin then asks her followers' opinions, saying "Is this normal? This is my first time being a bridesmaid for someone other than my sister."
"Is this expected?"
The video ends with Erin asking "Is this expected? Should I be expecting this every time I'm asked to be a bridesmaid?"
Just before the clip cuts off she adds one more bit of context.
The bridal party also paid for the bridal shower
"Just for context, the bridesmaids are also paying for the shower too. We each gave the MOH $300 for the shower," she concluded.
Based on Erin's cost breakdown this bachelorette party alone is costing her easily around $1,000 and that's not including gifts and travel expenses.
Expenses add up extremely quickly
By the time Erin purchases her food, drinks, extra travel expenses (taxis, baggage fees), and wedding present, she'll have burned through a whole paycheck or more.
There are a lot of really awesome parts about being in a wedding party but there are also a lot of expensive parts.
"This is why I turn down being a bridesmaid"
Immediately, people began flooding Erin's comments section to leave their opinions on the matter.
It seems like the majority of commenters support Erin's opinion that it's not fair for the bridal party to foot the bill for the bride's expenses.
The bachelorette trend has gotten out of control
Commenters were quick to agree with Erin that the entire bachelorette and bridal party culture has "gotten out of control."
It's clear that multiple women have felt trapped in a similar situation.
Some brides foot the bill themselves
After the video went viral, some former brides weighed in to share their experiences footing the bill for their own bridesmaids.
One woman called the expectation that everyone pays the bride's share "outrageous."
Does getting married entitle you to a free vacation?
Commenters didn't hold back when it came to criticizing brides who depend on their bridal party to pay their way through events and celebrations.
As one commenter pointed out, getting married doesn't automatically qualify someone for a free vacation funded by their friends.
Erin responded to one negative comment on her video
As always, it wouldn't be a TikTok video if there weren't a few troll comments.
Erin took the time to respond to one hater in a video that has now been viewed over 400K times.
The comment targeted her for sharing her story on TikTok
The comment left on the original viral video about the bachelorette expenses targets Erin for "airing it all publicly" on TikTok.
She fires back while talking to the camera "Being a bridesmaid and bachelorette parties are topics that need to be discussed publicly and here's why."
Erin says not enough people talk about this issue
Erin starts, "I don't hear anyone talking about this" before going on to say "I know so many girls that are put in uncomfortable situations financially when they become a bridesmaid."
She reiterates that the point of her last video was "just asking 'is this normal?'"
The support on her video suggests people can relate
The young woman reminds viewers that it's her first time being a bridesmaid and wonders if she should "expect to take a five-day vacation and pay for the bride, etcetera."
She reflects on the overwhelming amount of comments in her last video.
"The expectations are just too high for what they can afford"
The overall consensus was clear: "So many girls were saying that the expectations are just too high for what they can afford."
Erin goes on to add that it has nothing to do with "how much we love the brides" and everything to do with what they can afford.
It's not in our culture to opt out of wedding events
She concludes her response by saying "Unfortunately, it's not in our culture right now that these trips and other big expenses are optional for bridesmaids."
Referencing the original troll comment, she adds "and I think that's the conversation that everyone needs to be talking about."
Erin's hot topic started a fairly one-sided debate
It seems that the comments on Erin's response video got too toxic and she ended up disabling them altogether (classic TikTok!)
However, her response clip did rack up 29K likes so it's clear that lots of viewers agreed with her perspective.
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