(DON’T) Watch These Holiday Movies!

What are the holidays without all the background noise? The Douglas Fur candle burning in the living room while your tv is blaring A Mercedes commercial with santa behind the wheel of an SLS. Ahh and back to our scheduled programs: Elf! Bad Santa! How the Grinch Stole Christmas! They aren’t just movies but stockholders of my memories, my childhood. The 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story that will play next month on Christmas day is the same marathon that played when I was 6 opening up my first guitar in my old neighborhood. The same marathon that played when I was 11 opening up my Gameboy/Pokemon Red after we moved. The same marathon that I cant miss because it brings me back to such beautiful memories of my family, friends, childhood, joy. Which brings me to the Yang of the Yin… The worst holiday movies ever. Which make me feel nothing but confusion. I have seen all of these just so you don’t have to, unless you want a good laugh or some background noise at an Ugly Sweater party:

(So bad vs. So bad it’s good.)

Fred Claus

I love Vince Vaughn. I met all 8’ of Vince years ago when my band was performing on MTV’s TRL (I know, ancient history) but even my love for him on a personal and professional level can’t get me through this one. -So Bad

Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure

Christmas Vacation is a Hilarious classic. And the small role of Cousin Eddie makes every Vacation movie funnier. But this spin off proved that he may be best on screen in 10 minute blocks only. -So Bad

Home Alone 3:

Another case of “too much of a good thing is still too much.” Home Alone 1 and 2 are too perfect. Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci… Gold. But then years later we got Home Alone 3 with a new kid, new crooks… Nah -So Bad

Home Alone 4:

See above, with an added side of “ok, come on.” – So Bad

Santa With Muscles:

Hulk Hogan has amnesia and thinks he is Santa. Actually I think I love this movie…

-So Bad it’s good

Jack Frost:

Really sad, and weird. The kid’s dad dies and comes back as an animated snow man? I kinda want to watch this one again too, honestly. -So bad it’s good.


And finally a curve ball, GREMLINS. Yes this is technically a Christmas movie, and an amazing one that needs to be watched. Just don’t feed the little asshole after midnight… -So Good it’s Good

Happy Holidays,