This one scenario, that I hate being caught in, has happened every day this week!

I absolutely, without a doubt, despise getting into an elevator with a romantic couple; or visa-versa. Let me take you through it…

(ding) The elevator door opens

You see what appears to be a young couple, and this particular floor stop has slightly interrupted their shenanigans.

You walk forward, enter, while the couple slowly grasp hands, and awkwardly shuffle to the opposite corner of the button palet, which of course, is where you are standing.

You lean against the wall, or hand rest, depending, and shift your clothes to fit the enormous space of abondonment that has suddenly appeared to the left and right of you.

It gets quiet.

The couple feels a bit “ill at ease”, becomes nervous, and what do nervous lovers do? Become squeaky, annoying, cuddly teenagers, whose only sense of relief is touch. It’s wonderful and miraculous, really.

You, at this point, can only stare at the highlighted descending (or ascending) numeric system for so long, and shy your glance right at them, catching them in the tomfoolery of inside jokes, lip locks, and whispers.

You are incredibly annoyed at their sudden immaturity, but you are craving it at the same time, which makes you extremely upset, and short tempered.

Ah! (the couple notices you looking)So you turn your eyes to the floor, or the button panel again, because focusing your attention on the three years it has taken this elevator to get where it needs to go might make it go faster.

You purse your lips, invert your eyebrows, so it looks like you’re confused by the emotion of anger, and you cross your arms, or tap just one thumb on your thigh, or give a quick weird smile that says, “Yes…I am the third party of this elevator gathering I was not invited to”

(Ding) The elevator has arrived on your floor, so you slowly scuffle your way towards the slit of the metal doors, with the hope that it will begin to open by the time you eventually arrive, and –

It parts! And you dart —

This is the music playing in my head, EVERYTIME this happens.