Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince’: Chapter 18

In the eighteenth chapter of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, sixth year students begin to learn how to Apparate and it proves to be the most difficult task they’ve faced yet. Then Ron ingests a love potion on accident and some much needed lulz ensue. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.

CHAPTER 18: BIRTHDAY SURPRISES

Man, people make some bad decisions in this chapter.

Harry’s dependence on the potions scrawled inside the Half-Blood Prince’s book comes to bite him in the ass, though he ultimately weasels his way out of this conflict. When Professor Slughorn has them compose an antidote for different poisons, Harry finds out that he cannot rely on the book anymore. And it demonstrates a key weakness of his: he’s not actually learning things in the book. This concerns me because I don’t think Harry could actually be a good Auror if he doesn’t actually have practical knowledge of Potions; even further, it also vindicates Hermione’s anger in a way. Of course, she feels threatened when someone is doing better, most especially when that person is sort-of, kind-of cheating; but now, as demonstrated by Harry’s utter panic during this lesson, he is actually harming himself by doing this.

I realize that ultimately, Harry finding bezoar complicates the situation and I do appreciate it, but part of me did want to see him fail. But I think it’s actually smarter for Rowling to present a situation in which it seems pretty clear cut who is in the wrong, but then have the situation provide a positive ending for someone.

Still, it’s a bad decision for Harry to make. I know he wants to be an Auror quite badly, but he’s going to have to actually learn what he’s studying if it’s going to have any affect on him. (WHY DO I SOUND LIKE I AM HARRY’S FATHER WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME)

He makes another terrible decision right after this. I was kind of surprised how brash he was in trying to ask Slughorn more about his past and what horcruxes are; usually, Harry can understand nuance and subtlety, so what was he thinking just straight up asking Slughorn if he knew about Horcruxes? I mean…it’s like you said the exact code word that would set him off and clue him in on the fact that you’re trying to do something for Dumbledore.

WAY TO GO, HARRY.

Apparition lessons are pretty amusing to me and, like what happens at the end of the chapter, it’s a much-needed comedic break. I’m glad that no one (especially not Harry) is able to Apparate anything for the first three rounds. And then, on the fourth round:

• There was a horrible screech of pain and everybody looked around, terrified, to see Susan Bones of Hufflepuff wobbling in her hoop with her left leg still standing five feet away where she had started.

  The Heads of House converged on her; there was a great bang and a puff of purple smoke, which cleared to reveal Susan sobbing, reunited with her leg but looking horrified.

  “Splinching, or the separation of random body parts,” said Wilkie Twycross dispassionately, “occurs when the mind is insufficiently determined. You must concentrate continuously upon your destination, and move, without haste, but with deliberation…thus.”

Why did it have to be Susan Bones? She already lost her aunt and now her leg? WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY

We also learn in this chapter that Harry has discovered that Malfoy is disappearing from Hogwarts entirely; whenever Harry uses the Marauder’s Map, he is simply gone from the school for long hours of time. Ron, as usual, is pretty disinterested because…well, I will excuse him this time. It is his birthday, after all!

I can’t figure out why Malfoy is disappearing for long lengths of time and…how he’s doing it. THIS IS CONFUSING. I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING. Oh god, the suspense is slowly building and MY HEART CANNOT HANDLE IT MUCH LONGER.

In the meantime, let’s appreciate the joy of Ron accidentally consuming the chocolates meant for Harry. I actually thought for a moment that Ron was going to admit that he really misses Hermione:

• ”Harry!” said Ron suddenly.

  “What?”

  “Harry, I can’t stand it!”

  “You can’t stand what?’ asked Harry, now starting to feel definitely alarmed. Ron was rather pale and looked as though he was about to be sick.

  “I can’t stop thinking about her!” said Ron hoarsely.

OMG OMG OMG OMG FINALLY RON AND HERMIONE.

• ”I don’t think she knows I exist,” said Ron with a desperate gesture.

  “She definitely knows you exist,” said Harry, bewildered. “She keeps snogging you, doesn’t she?”

  Ron blinked. “Who are you talking about?”

  “Who are you talking about?” said Harry, with an increasing sense that all reason had dropped out of the conversation.

  “Romilda Vane,” said Ron softly, and his whole face seemed to illuminate as he said it, as though hit by a ray of purest sunlight.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. I had totally forgotten about those chocolates. It kind of serves Ron right, but mostly because he sort of deserves a bit of this.

I don’t know what happens at the end of the chapter and I don’t know if I should freak out about it yet. Why does Slughorn freeze up when Ron starts choking and turning blue? And what on earth did Slughorn give him? Either way, it’s a chilling image and, as I said earlier, it does create an interesting situation: the Half-Blood Prince’s Potions book has now helped Harry with something that’s unmistakably positive.

GOD, WHY DID I AGREE TO READ THIS ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME. Ron, despite you massive immaturity in this book, I hope you are okay. 🙁 🙁