I Don’t Like Fan Fiction.

Though I have nothing against creative writing, fan fiction cracks me up. Especially the kind where people write about musicians such as Max Green (Escape the Fate), Andy Six (Black Veil Brides) and Justin Bieber (Justin Bieber).

Here is an excerpt from a lovely Bieber fan fiction! (From his POV of course.)

“I met her at a resort, at the water park. We were both waiting in line for a slide; I was behind her and had been checking her out for the whole fifteen minutes we’d been standing there…Her swim suit was a deep blue halter top, and she was wearing it with chick board shorts…I flipped my hair and cocked my head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of her face. Suddenly, she turned her head, and was facing me. Shit, I thought, she totally knows I was looking at her ass. She smiled. “Excited for this slide?” She asked me. I guess she hadn’t seen me checking her out then. I regained my cool. “Yeah,” I replied. “It’s going to be killer. Lines freaking suck though.”

Max Green.

“Max walked me to his tour bus which was only around the corner from the club. ” So how are you with needles?” He asked me with a smirk. “Not as comfortable with them as you seem to be….” I glanced at the arm that wasn’t around my waist and looked at all the scars from shooting up and cutting. He pulled his sleeve from his leather jacket down to hide them. “Well let doctor Maxie take care of it for you” We walked up to a big black and red bus…”It’s not a haunted house, nothings going to jump out.”…I took a couple steps inside so Max could come in and when I did Ronnie jumped out of no where and scared me shitless. “Damnit Ronnie!” I yelled at him as he laughed. Max was standing behind me and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and chuckle. “Don’t scare the guest man!”…I sat on the couch, my stomach twisting and turning….He pulled me on to his lap and started making something. “Uhm, what-what is it?” I asked him kinda nervously. He looked up at me. “Just some oxys. So don’t have to slam it, you can just rail it if ya want.” Slamming it just gives you a better high.” “Will it hurt?” “Not if you let me do it for you.” He kissed my neck trying to calm my nerves.”

Andy Six.

“”Hey” I shot my head in the direction of the voice, slightly startled, and saw it was the lead singer himself, Andy Sixx. But, of course, I won’t tell him I know his name. “Oh, Hi” I returned with a smile, he smiled. “I always see you here for our shows. I just wanted to thank you.” “No problem. I love the way your band sounds. I wouldn’t mind coming back here for the rest of my life!” His smile broadened. “I’m Andy” He held his hand out, I grabbed it. “Meli.” We became an item….2 months. Still good…3 months. Even better….5 months. Great….6 months….He cradled my jaw in his hands, his fingers ran through my hair. I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling. I opened my eyes and stared into his clear, ice blue ones. “I love you…””

Does anyone else find fan fiction hilarious? I am sorry if I have offended any fan fiction writers who happened to stumble upon this.