Insane Clown Posse Releases “Miracles,” Headdesks Galore To Follow

Apparently the wordsmiths that are The Insane Clown Posse can do no wrong. In their latest video, “Miracles,” our beloved ponderers of the deepest of thoughts posit the age old question, “Are you a believer in miracles?”

If you have yet to see the latest video crapped forth from the bowels of Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J, get ready for a visual feast for your eyes. Animals aplenty, DNA strands floating in space, and historical monuments are abound in this cornucopia of horrible graphics. There are even some sweet-ass dance moves:

Slow ya roll tiny dancer.

Not only that, but the lyricism (aka ill-ass rhyming skillz) in this song is but top notch. What else would you expect from two grown ass men in clown make up? Peep your eyes on this gem right here:

“Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seasAnd everything chilling underwater, pleaseHot lava, snow, rain and fogLong neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs”

That’s right, Shakespeare, wutchu know bout that?!

This video is basically what happens when you watch too much “Yo Gabba Gabba” and try to come up with some get-rich-quick scheme that not even a Judd Apatow film could conjure up.

I personally never thought that anyone could ruin rainbows. Sadly, this is not the case, for Shaggy 2 Dope is in clear violation of rainbow misuse. Using swear words and “rainbows” in the same sentence is a crime punishable by death, per the Unicorn Code of Rainbow Conduct. Everyone knows this.

“Fucking rainbows after it rainsthere’s enough miracles here to blow your brains”

The main point I took away from this video is superbly summed up in the following sentiment:

“Fucking magnets, how do they work?And I don’t wanna talk to a scientistY’all motherfuckers lying, and getting me pissed”

Maybe if I was in a high school life science class I would feel the exact same way. Who the F needs centuries of proven scientific know how when them science fools is straight lyin?! Let’s not question anything and just accept things that we cannot explain as miracles.

This video also clued me in to the fact that Shaggy and J have managed to create little miracles of their own. That’s right, they have managed to propagate. I weep for the future.

I pray that the miracle of 2012 is steadfast upon us. The end of world is being heralded by tiny children in clown make up and their fathers dressed in white. Like some forgotten plague from the Bible, surely this horrible excuse for music means the end of times is nigh.

Go ahead. Press the play button and die a little inside.

Magic everywhere in this bi**h.