Jacob Black: Secret Backstreet Boys Fan?

Oh, the things one finds while browsing YouTube. I was in a nostalgic mood and ended up deciding to view a bunch of old Backstreet Boys music videos.

This, combined with Mark’s recently outpouring of Jacob Black love at Mark Reads Twilight, led me to only one conclusion:

If Jacob Black had sung Backsteet Boys songs to Bella, she’d totally have gone for him.

Because, as much as Smeyer talks about how My Chemical Romance and Muse relate to her writing, Jacob Black LIVES IN A BACKSTREET BOYS SONG. I do not kid!

Don’t believe me? Let’s revisit some of their best, shall we?

I’ll Never Break Your Heart:

Baby I know your hurtingRight now you feel like you could never love again Now all I ask is for a chance To prove that I love you

Hmmm…sounds a bit like Jacob’s MO through most of New Moon, doesn’t it? And yet it gets better!

Ooooh, when I asked you outYou said no but I found outDarling that you’d been hurt You felt that you’d never love again

I deserve a try honey just once Give me a chance and I’ll prove this all wrong You walked in you were so quick to judge But honey he’s nothing like me

I’ll never break your heart I’lll never make you cry I’d rather die than live without you I’ll give you all of me Honey that’s no lie

Hmmm…interesting. But still, the rest of their catalog also holds up:

All I Have to Give:

I don’t know what he does to make you cry, but I’ll be there to make you smile. I don’t have a fancy car, to get to you I’d walk a thousand miles.

Jacob doesn’t HAVE all the expensive cars and shit that Edward does, but he will do anything he can to make Bella feel better, dammit!

But my love is all I have to give Without you I don’t think I can live I wish I could give the world to you…but Love is all I have to give

But this is all from their earlier albums! Surely nothing from their later albums would include this theme!

More Than That:

Okay, I’m just posting ALL of the lyrics to this one.

I can see that you’ve been crying You can’t hide it with a lie What’s the use in you denying That what you have is wrong I heard him promise you forever But forevers come and go Baby, he would say whatever It takes to keep you blind Tell the truth between the lies, oh

I will love you more than that I won’t say the words Then take them back Don’t give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say I will love you more than that

Baby, you deserve much better What’s the use in holding on Don’t you see it’s now or never ‘Cause I just can’t be friends Baby knowing in the end, that..

I will love you more than that I WON’T say the words Then take them back Don’t give loneliness a chance Baby listen to me when I say Hey…

There’s not a day that passes by I don’t wonder why we haven’t tried It’s not too late to change your mind So take my hand, don’t say goodbye

Holy crap! This PROVES IT, folks! If Jacob Black had shown up outside Bella’s window and sung any of these songs to her, she would have MELTED LIKE BUTTER. If she didn’t SHE HAS NO SOUL. Hate music all you want Miss “Linkin-Park’s-Drum-Patterns-Are-So-TOTALLY-Complicated-and-Their-Lyrics-Are-So-Deep!” But even you would be reduced to a puddle of goo if Jacob showed up belting out any of these songs, dedicated entirely to you.

IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON’T DESERVE HIM. Fuck it, I want Jacob outside MY window singing this shit to me. FUCK YOU, BELLA! YOU MISSED OUT! HOW D’YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, HUH?