I had a friend…

I had a friend in high school. I cut ties with her because of shit like this:

This girl liked to lie. A lot. I’m pretty sure she couldn’t control it and it was just what she did. But she’d tell all kinds of fantastic stories about how special she was, changed religions three times one year (Catholicism, Buddhism and Neo-Paganism) and still found time to tell me I was going to burn in hell. And if you called her on making stuff up, she’d automatically get defensive and claim that her mother was dying of cancer and it was back and she was so so so so sorry she’d never do it again!

And inevitably she did.

Anyway, our senior year, she comes in talking about how her mother’s cancer was back in remission again (we’d caught her lying about stealing something of mine, the cancer had mystically come back just at that time) and it was going to be gone and to celebrate she and her mother were taking another of our friends on a Disney cruise.

About a week before the cruise was sent to happen, she came in bawling her eyes out. She told us that the cruise was canceled.

Because the boat burnt down.

Wait, wait, lemme repeat that.

The Boat. Burned. Down.

This girl was somewhat funny at times. But she’s pretty much the reason I can’t stand people who make up self-important stories about themselves to impress strangers. She’s really the reason I want to smack people who come up with a “cancer” story anytime they get caught in a lie or in their own bullshit.

Look, you have every right to be whoever you want. Especially online. And I have the right to say that you probably HAVEN’T studied half the stuff you claim to have studied as in depth as you have, I have the right to say that your arguments read like they were constructed by Solomon Grundy and that Sanguinarians are just people who didn’t think LARPing took the illusion far enough.

In other words? I’m not jealous of these people. I just really, really think they should get off the fucking internet and try medication, therapy or getting laid.