Perez Couture: Sneak Preview!

PopCrunch announced that Perez Hilton will soon be joining the number of “celebrities” with their own clothing lines.

“It seems natural to make products that my readers will love and hopefully some guys will rock it too,” Perez said in a statement on Tuesday. “Some people might even call me a perfectionist, well that person would be me! I’m very passionate about my brand. I have extremely high standards and I like to get my hands dirty!”

“I’m most excited to finally see on the shelves products that are good and affordable for my readers. I actively sought out Hot Topic for that reason.”

“I keep seeing these lines from the likes of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag that give me nightmares,” he says. “My brand will be very conscious of my audience.”

And boy, was HE telling the truth! After all, everyone flocks to Perez Hilton to see him use other people’s fame and MS Paint to make a name for himself. So his fashion line will reflect that, as evidenced by these sneak previews I’ve gotten hold of!

First of all, Perez shows his “sensitive feminist” side with the “All Women Are” top:


And then his “Universal Message” top.

But it’s not just about those…oh no! He’s also got these fine numbers:

Look at the ARTISTRY on that last one!

And of course, how could Perez do this without saluting his two “good friends” Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz.

First off is the “Ash Wentzday Expecting” tee:

So nobody has to bother worrying about whether or not you’re pregnant.

And finally, the ultimate in Perezwear, something I call “Dreams Which will Never Be”

It’s okay, Perez. I’m sure if you just keep trying, eventually Pete Wentz will sleep with you.

Or, you’ll get hit with enough lawsuits that they’ll shut down your site and I never have to hear about you again. Either way, it’ll probably shut your fucking mouth.