How An Innocent Crush Has Saved My Lonely Holiday Heart

The holidays are officially here and even though they’re filled with friends, family, fun, parties, presents, surprises and the opportunity to rock anything sparkly, they can also be a stark reminder of your “single” status.

Looking back on 2016, I can say I suffered the kind of heartbreak that feels never ending. The kind that affects your appetite, has you in tears, where you can’t stop yourself from stalking your former flame’s social media because #masochism. Month went by, I slowly started to feel better. I stopped stalking. I did a 30 day hot yoga challenge. I put my energy into things that made me feel good. I went on long walks, did art, made new friends, and planned cool trips to keep me excited and looking forward.

That new positive mental attitude paid off during summer. Because I was no longer wallowing in a pool of tears and disappointment, I began to attract awesome guys into my life. They weren’t forever guys, but hanging with them boosted my confidence and I had fun.

However, when it’s raining men, you gotta remember that showers don’t last forever and if you stay single, the natural ebb and flow of life will deliver an unavoidable slump where you have little to no dating options. If this is you around the holidays, I know it can feel pretty shitty, especially when you’re watching your friends buy cute prezzies for their plus 1, and know they’re actually looking forward to midnight on New Years Eve.

This holiday season, I’m single with basically no dating options. I recently dealt with massive disappointment when a dude I thought was gonna be my boyfriend decided to ghost me. I had a false start with another guy who I realized is better off as a friend, and now as we head full speed into end-of-year party madness, the only thing relevant in my love life is an innocent crush, and it has been a saving grace.

My innocent crush is on a guy I met over the summer at Lollapalooza. He was super cool, fun, funny, easy to talk to…basically your all around mega babe. We hung out for 12 hours, and at the end of it, didn’t exchange numbers or even follow each other on social media. We just said bye.

The cool thing is, I found out we live in the same city and we have a few mutual friends, but I’m not in any rush to try and be in touch with him, because if the universe wants us to cross paths again, we will. My crush on him is based off the little time we hung out and how good it made me feel. This innocent crush has made me feel so much better about the holidays and my love life in general because:

1. The crush can’t hurt me. My only memory of him is a good one so there’s no way my heart can be broken.

taytay

2. I don’t have his number. This takes away any temptation to text and squashes any potential disappointment of not getting a response.

nic

3. Knowing we live in the same city keeps the excitement alive that I may run into him again sometime.

chloe

4. It makes me feel like I have something going on in my love life, which buffers the sting of being single this time of year.

hearts

Sure, some might read this and think it’s silly or maybe a little pathetic that I’m turning to an innocent crush to round out my non-existent love life, but for me, it’s a hell of a lot better than having nothing at all.

Are you suffering from  a lonely heart this holiday season?