Mark Reads ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’: Chapter 1

In the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry is still stuck in his room at the Dursleys because they are evil, evil people. However, his wonderful band of friends make sure that he has the very best birthday party Ever. Intrigued? Then it’s time for Mark to read Harry Potter.


Dear diary,

Hello, diary. It’s me again. Harry Potter. I know it’s been a long time since I wrote last, but I suppose a lot has happened since then. I now feel a bit strange about having written about how the spiders were my only friend. Given the ironic turn at the end of my second year at Hogwarts, I think I should stray from making any premature statements about what I appreciate, lest I doom myself to be smothered to death in a pile of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans or Ron Weasley accidentally kills me with another broken wand.

I miss Ron and Hermione and Hagrid, diary. Why do I hate summer so much? Every kid I know loves vacation from school. All I want to do is homework and spells and be in Hogwarts all the time.

It’s a wonder I haven’t turned into a stupid Muggle hater at this point. 

I’m supposed to be writing an essay on the futility of Witch Burning, diary. And I love learning about this, but I wish so dearly that there was a way for me to just see my friends. I want to learn with my friends around.

Did you know I had to sneak my spellbooks out of the cupboard below the stairs? I’m not even supposed to be learning about wizarding and witches and magic while I’m in this house. I have to be as quiet as possible even writing in you with my quill, diary, because even the slightest sound will awake that beastly Uncle Vernon.

I wish I could make him disappear.

Ron Weasley called me the first week of vacation. It’s too bad he and his family are purebloods, because he didn’t understand how to work a Muggle telephone. He just yelled at Uncle Vernon, as if he couldn’t hear him, and told him that he was from school. That was enough to send him into a tizzy. 

Sigh. It’s now one o’clock in the morning. I’ve been thirteen years old for an hour. Every year is like the last. I spend my birthday in solitude, just wishing I had a friend.

I don’t even have the spiders this year.


Dear diary,

It’s me again! Harry Potter. Sorry I left, I was a bit sad. But it’s ok! Things got better! I can’t believe it. It’s almost like writing in you made things come true.

A couple of owls showed up with Hedwig. One of them was Ron’s owl, Errol. Bless Errol. He never seems to give up, even though he may not be the smartest or the strongest owl. I hope I am just as awesome as he is someday.

The owls came bearing gifts, diary! First, Errol brought me a gift and a letter from Ron. Did you know his father won a huge prize, enough so that the Weasley family could take a vacation to Egypt? I really like the Weasleys a lot. I wish they were my family. I know how hard it is for them to make ends meet, so they really deserve this vacation.

Ron got me a birthday present. It’s called a Pocket Sneakoscope. If someone untrustworthy is around, it spins and lights up, apparently. I bet this will help me this year at Hogwarts!

Hermione also sent a letter and a present! I was so scared my friends would avoid contacting me since it was such a disaster last year. 

Hermione and her family got to go to France this year! I wonder what it is like to travel. I’ve never been able to, diary. There’s a whole world out there I’ve yet to see, but I’m stuck with these darn Muggle parents who hate me because of how I was born. It’s really unfair.

Anyway, Hermione gave me a really fantastic broom cleaning set. It made me miss Quidditch a lot. It’s one of the only things in the magic world that I’m actually good at. Everything is so strange to me, even though I’ve been through two years.

The third owl brought a gift from Hagrid. I really miss him, too. But his gift was very strange. It was The Monster Book of Monsters and it seems to have a life of it’s own! It actually bit me. A book bit me!

I’m kind of confused as to why Hagrid would give me a book about monsters, though. But Hagrid doesn’t have a normal person’s view of what is dangerous.

I got my Hogwarts letter. I’m supposed to get a permission form signed so I can visit Hogsmeade this year. Did you know it’s a village of all wizards? I really want to go, but the Dursleys probably will do whatever they can to make me miserable.

Well, that’s all for today, diary. This was the best birthday I have ever had. It really was. I don’t know if I’ll write any time soon. School starts in a bit. Plus…well, I’m a bit turned off from writing in diaries after what happened with…well, you know who. Sorry.

Thanks for listening!

Harry Potter