10 Ways To Put Your Broken Heart Back Together

Break-ups suck. Regardless if they’re long term serious relationships or someone you were dating for a few weeks who decided to bow out before it got too serious, one will undoubtedly feel the sting of sudden singledom. It can be hard for the person who’s walking away from the relationship too. Sometimes you still really love/care about/are crushing on your former smooching buddy, but if it doesn’t feel right, it’s smart (albeit difficult) to know when to take action and walk away.

Having experienced a pile of heartache, I know there’s no quick fix to getting a broken heart back to feeling normal or turn off the the serious pangs of anxiety when you wake up in the morning, but thankfully there are 10 things you can do to start healing the emotional wound.

1. Find a song that you can relate to your most recent relationship and play it over and over until you can’t listen to it anymore. 

At that point, the song likely won’t bring about the intense feelings of love lost and you’ll start to feel a little silly for being so emo in the first place.

2. Write a letter to your ex that you don’t ever plan on sending.

Sometimes just getting your feelings out and directing them toward your ex is the best kind of emotional purge. You’ll get out all the anger, sadness, and confusion, which will benefit you later. In a few months when you’re not feeling so agro and potentially considering hitting up your ex, “just to check in and say hi” you can go back, read that letter, and remind yourself why it isn’t worth it to put your emotions on the line for this person again.

Nothing is better for an aching heart than distractions. Those thank you cards you’ve been meaning to write, that spring cleaning you need to do, those clothes you need to return, that bedroom redecorating project you keep talking about…just do it!

4. Keep a journal.

You don’t have to write long entries, but filling a journal with phrases, song lyrics, goals, and cut outs that make you feel good will suddenly feel like your “safe place” to go during an intense pang of sadness.

5. Binge watch something funny.  

Seriously Friends is on Netflix for a reason. While you’re at it, google, “puppy gifs” and pretty much everything will be right in the world.

6. Talk it out with your friends. 

That’s what they’re there for, and getting perspective from people who aren’t directly involved will help you get out of your head. This is also a good opportunity to check yourself. Seriously…it’s so good to talk it out, but when it goes from talking it out, to beating a dead horse by obsessing about it all the time, your friends will start to hate you and you really don’t want that. So be open with your feelings, but don’t let the break-up begin to define you.

7. Make yourself go out…even if you don’t want to. 

Try saying yes to every invitation you receive for a couple weeks. You might meets someone really awesome, go someplace you’ve never been, or discover a passion you didn’t know you had.

8. Keep a tally of how long it’s been since you last spoke to the person you kinda wish you were still kissing. 

Each day you mark will feel like a small victory and before you know it, months will have passed and feelings will have faded. You’ll be so wrapped up in all the great new things in your life, you’ll realize you don’t remember the last time you even cared to keep track of how many days have gone by without your former flame.

9. Dance. 

Put on your favorite tracks and dance, and dance, and dance. It will release those feel good endorphins and get you pumped and motivated to keep the good vibe flowing.

10. Practice forgiveness.  

Sure, it’s really hard to think about forgiving someone who has caused you a ton of emotional grief, but holding onto the anger will only prolong the heartache. Definitely be mad, sad, hurt, weepy, and generally bummed out, but after a while start thinking about moving past it, forgive the person (even if you never tell them you do), and truly let them go. It sounds daunting and scary as fuck to truly let go, but hanging onto the past will only keep you from all the amazing things waiting for you in the future.