How To Deal When You’re Crushing On Your Ex’s BFF

Relationships can get reallly sticky, especially when you break up with someone, then come to find you’re starting to catch some more-than-friend feelings for his BFF. Sure it’s not ideal, but as Selena Gomez says, The heart wants what it wants, and it’s impossible to control how someone affects you.

The first thing is to understand that the idea might be better than actually acting on your feelings. Break ups suck, you feel lonely and sad. Of course the idea of linking up with someone you’re already comfortable with sounds awesome, but remember how you met them in the first place. Unless you and your ex are pals, and he’s encouraging the two of you to give it a go, there’s major potential for your presence to come between your ex and his BFF. Here’s how to deal if you think you’re fighting a losing battle against your feelings.

1. Have a non-judgy friend you can talk to about it. There’s nothing better than having a touchstone in those times of intense crush moments.

2. Give yourself a break from your ex’s BFF. You don’t have to ignore them, but try filling your text and hang time with other people you haven’t seen in a while.

3. Pick up a new hobby. There’s nothing like a good craft/sport/class etc. to keep you distracted.

4. Keep yourself open to other people and say “yes” to dates, even if you aren’t super into it. One date isn’t going to kill you, and you might just be surprised by the person you’re hanging with!

5.  If your feelings still aren’t fading, have a talk with your current crush and see what they have to say. It could just be the closure you need to move on, or if they feel the same way, you can figure out a way to start something while being sensitive to your ex’s feelings.