13 Things Everyone Who Hates Halloween Thinks

Not to rain on anyone’s spook parade, but I’m not a fan of Halloween. I just can’t pull it off. Don’t get me wrong! As a child my costumes were pretty killer – from Sporty Spice to Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz to Belle from Beauty & The Beast. Not to mention how much I love watching little kids get dressed up and feel like the inner princesses and pirates that they are. Did I mention the fun size candy? The best!! The rest, however, is pretty sick to me and I’m not entirely sure why Halloween even exists. Sue me. Here are 13 things just about everyone who hates Halloween often thinks:

Oh my GOD why are there so many fake bugs and huge ass rodents all over the place?!

I am a chickenshit and there’s no way in hell I’m walking down the Halloween aisle at the store!

Why is that chick dressed like a sexy doughnut? It’s literally 40 degrees out.

Can’t decide if that dude in that mask is going to kill me or…oh wait..nvm..it’s part of his act.

I wonder if I can get away with trick or treating at my age…?

What kind of sick person puts dead babies and dog skeletons up for decorations?!?!

I can go hide under my covers tonight, right?

Horror movies?! NOPE!

I need to lighten tf up! It’s only one night out the year…

OK there is a possibility that I could die tonight.

There’s no way I’m answering the door.

Is it November yet?

YAY! Half-priced candy!!!!!!