This Is What Happened When I Broke Up With A Guy I Really Liked
It’s been just over two weeks since I broke up with a guy I thought maybe could be something more than a late summer fling. He kind of came out of nowhere, when I was least expecting to make a more-than-friend connection. Living in the age of social media, it all started when I fell into an Instagram hole, came across his profile and started following him. I was surprised when he followed back. There were occasional “likes” on each other’s posts, but that was pretty much it.
A couple months later I was on Facebook and he popped up as a suggested friend to add. I thought, “Sure why not.” and sent a friend request. The next day he accepted and immediately messaged me. This turned into several days of going back and forth before we decided to meet for a drink. I was a little nervous going into it, but the second we were face-to-face it was totally chill. Sure, I was a little shy, but it wasn’t long before the vibes were going strong and we were having a great time getting to know each other. The chemistry was undeniable, time flew by, and soon, we had to go our separate ways.
There was so much excitement we continued the conversation via text and the next day met up for coffee. He seemed like a dream, the kind of guy you didn’t think you could hope for, but like all things in life, nothing lasts forever. As the weeks went by, we still saw each other and stayed in touch, but the more comfortable it got, the more I was noticing the number of days that would go between hearing from or seeing him. Plans were made, only to be broken because of some other pressing matter, and I began to feel ignored, used, brushed off, and…disposable.
I always say that as long as things feel good, go with it, but the second it begins to make you feel bad, it’s time to make some tough decisions. Understandably, people will stay in shitty situations because it’s rare to find someone you actually REALLY like. It’s easy to turn a blind eye and make excuses to justify bad behavior because you want to believe someone has your best interests in mind, but fact is, they rarely do.
So when I hadn’t seen him in over a week and hadn’t heard from him in days, I decided to call him on the phone to see what was up. Weird right? Well guess what happened…after two rings he sent me to voicemail. I didn’t leave a message and I didn’t get a text or anything from him that night to say, “Sorry not a good time.” or “Call you later.” It was just radio silence.
The next day I woke up and still nothing from him, so I decided I was done. I felt rejected and tricked, so I wrote out a message telling him I was over it and saved it in a draft folder until he contacted me again. I didn’t have to wait long. That evening I received a message from him on Facebook apologizing for being MIA…blah blah blah. Essentially, he was telling me how things had to go in order for us to keep seeing each other, which was just one big fucking eye roll. I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do when I like someone, so I copied and pasted my letter into the reply box and hit send.
It was long and explained my feelings, but to spare you, the bottom line was that it was better off to not talk or see each other anymore, that I didn’t appreciate the treatment I received from him, and I deserved more. I wished him luck in everything and told him to take care.
I was pretty sure I wouldn’t hear from him again, but I was wrong. He came back totally 180’d, apologizing, telling me how amazing I am blah blah. I found by sticking up for myself and putting myself first, I had turned the tables and was the one in control. He’s continued to hit me up, respond to my Instagram live stories and tell me he misses me, but has made no actual effort outside of that to prove it. Just another case of suddenly wanting something because you can’t have it anymore. Siiigh..
I’m not saying it hasn’t been tough as hell to resist the urge to respond, but staying strong and believing in my self-worth and the kind of treatment I deserve has boosted my self-confidence. I also feel a huge sense of relief not wondering when I might see him again, or stressing over the possibilities of why I haven’t heard from him. I love that I was able to put myself first and guess what, because of it, I have every bit of faith that the right guy is going to come along and woo bomb me so hard I won’t even know what hit me.
So for all of you out there who are just settling for “less than amazing” because you’re afraid no one else will come along, be better to yourself, find the strength to fight for what you most definitely deserve, because you ARE worth it.