In Defense Of Hating Pumpkin Spiced Everything

It’s the first day of Fall! While this past summer was one of the best of my adult life, I’m beyond excited for cooler temps, light sweaters layered under cool Fall jackets and allll the lace up boots. However, with the seasonal change comes one thing I can’t stand…PUMPKIN SPICED EVERYTHING.

There’s something about the trendy flavor that irks me. Maybe because Starbucks made it such a “thing” with their lattes, that soon everywhere I looked I was seeing cookies, bread, ice cream, pancake mix and beyond boasting this amazing flavor. Maybe as I’ve gotten older my tastebuds have changed, but I find anything pumpkin spiced leaves the worst aftertaste in my mouth, and it always feels like there’s a fine film of sawdust coating it.

Since discovering my massive distaste for PS, I’ve basically had to ban Starbucks from my life until PSL season is over because I literally can’t handle fans of this tired out drink trend loudly exclaiming the greatness of it, or watching said lattes being piled high with whipped cream, when one sip, even sans topping, is enough to give you 12 cavities.

Plus, you’re not even drinking real pumpkin flavoring. It’s just a chemical cocktail of compound flavors engineered to taste like flavors that naturally occur in pumpkin, cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg. Ew.

Sorry I’m not sorry for hating on pumpkin spiced everything, but I’d rather drink a bottle of Tabasco than let one bit of this well cloaked nasty pass my lips.

In conclusion, this 2014 John Oliver rant about Pumpkin Spiced flavoring pretty much sums it all up.

Are you a fan of pumpkin spice?