This Is Why Bras Actually Really Suck
Today let’s talk about bras…AKA the bane of every woman’s existence. Whether you’re a DD or an A cup, we can all agree that having to strap your chest in all day everyday is kind of the worst.
Every morning, us gals have to wake up and peruse our evil, evil bra inventory. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as plucking the first bra you see out of the bunch.
Instead, you have to strategize. What shirt are you wearing? Is anyone going to see your bra today? How comfortable do you want to be? Decisions, decisions.
Once you finally settle on a wretched boob holster, the real discomfort begins. In a perfect world you’d be free boob-ing it or wearing a bralette, but then people question your life choices and you’re all:
So you go about your day, pretending that underwire isn’t digging into your flesh and that your boobs are just hanging out and being perfectly perky like in the movies.
Meanwhile, in the real world your boobs are suffering. Unless it’s under 60 degrees you’re just chilling at school, at work, or running around town trying to ignore the fact that your boobs are totally unhappy in their fabric prison.
Then, if you’re completely unlucky, someone will notice your boobs when you really don’t want them to. Whether it’s a creepy dude in line at a coffee shop or a friend that’s trying to pay you a compliment, the last thing you want is someone staring at your knockers.
And in that moment, all you can think about is Christina Ricci’s character in Now & Then. She had it all figured out.
You actually start to truly, truly envy the unemployed and maybe you consider quitting your job purely for the sake of spending your days without a bra on.
But instead, you must carry on because the world says, you’re a woman and you have to wear a bra whether you want to or not.
You convince yourself bras can be totally sexy and fun.
And you just have to live for the moment you get home, walk through the door, and take that bad boy off in record time.