5 Red Flags The Person You’re Dating Is A D-Bag
I don’t know if it’s just me, but dating these days seems to be like one big disappointment. Meeting someone and making an insta-connection always feels good. There’s the attention, the fun dates, the compliments, the excitement that you might finally be on your way to having a steady plus one to everything, then you wake up one day and your potential plus one has turned into a total d-bag of massive proportion who no longer wants to dote on you. Dafuq.
The problem when dating someone new is we tend to turn a blind eye to bad behavior. Little red flags pop up all the time, we just pretend we don’t see them and brush these warning signs off like a piece of lint. However the thing about lint is it tends to hang around, and before you know it, it’s everywhere. As a single girl who has been involved with numerous d-bags, I’ve learned to look out for certain red flags that tell me to run the other way, while my now former-potential-plus-one hits up every thirsty single person online looking for a match. Ugh.
1. They come out of the gate strong…like really strong. Anyone who overwhelms you with compliments, texts, attention and wanting to make tons of plans within the first week or two of dating is a red flag. These people are like fireworks: exciting and sparkly, but go out fast. If the person you recently got involved with seems like they can’t get enough of you, trust me, they can and they will. It’s up to you how you want to proceed, just be wary of these fireworks…they will burn you and it will hurt. That’s not to say all of these fireworks don’t continue burning bright, some are being truly genuine and ready to to be emotionally and physically exclusive to you. I just think it’s better to stay cautious until they prove themselves.
2. They refuse to make committed plans. At first they were all about seeing you, but after a couple weeks, they become less engaged and you’re wondering, “what’s up?” so you ask if they want to hang over the weekend. If you get any of the following answers, consider this a major red flag and it may be time to re-evaluate this person you’re telling your friends is so “amazing.”
“I can’t this weekend I’m (insert whatever excuse)” If they don’t offer an alternate time to link up, consider yourself over it.
“Cool” I’m not sure how this is even a proper response to asking someone if they’d like to hang out, but it’s used surprisingly often. If they aren’t saying yes or no, they are probably waiting to see if a better offer is coming. Screw that…”Cool” is just another way to say “Maybe.” Blah…bye!
3. You are always initiating contact. Stop what you’re doing, go read through the last several text exchanges you’ve had with the person you’re hoping will be your official bf/gf. Do you both initiate contact equally or are you carrying this burden? If someone you’re dating isn’t taking intiative to contact you, it’s because you are not high on their list of priorities. Take a few days…see what happens when you don’t hit them up first. Their reaction will likely be one of the following.
-You won’t hear from them again.
-They will think you’ve moved on and hit you up, only to ease back into not contacting you once they feel you’re back on the hook. Ew.
-They will ask why they haven’t heard from you. You will tell them what’s up. They will apologize and say they didn’t even realize that was happening and things will turn around. **FYI…this has never happened to me or any of my friends.**
4. Their social media is peppered with flirty comments and tagged photos. Social media sucks because things can be misconstrued in so many ways. However, if the person you’re with seems to have a steady stream of flirty interactions and is tagged in tons of photos with captions that suggest ‘more than friend’ hangs with other people, there’s strong potential they’re a player and not looking to actually be serious with anyone. Don’t waste time on these d-bags, they’re not on your level.
5. They say something like this… I was walking home the other night and passed a couple on the sidewalk as their date was ending. I heard the guy say, “So we’ll talk this weekend.” The girl he was with lit up like a Christmas tree, which told me this was likely their first or second date. I could see she had the potential-permanent-plus-one hope in her eyes, which he immediately dashed by saying,”But don’t get too excited because I might not text you.” Good. Please don’t. You’re a d-bag…bye! I hope that girl finds a better dude.
Take these red flags for what they are and do what your heart tells you, just remember to protect yourself before making excuses for people who don’t deserve you.