My Mentor: Kerli
“Little girl you’re standing in front of a mirror
Your best friend said that you are fat and ugly
And now you’re staring your own reflection with horror
Too bad you do not look like a barbie doll”
– I remember to now as these words changed my life. It was a 2008/2009. Extremely hard time for me. I didn’t know what was wrong for me and what was good for me. I dreamed about the change, but without effect. Unfortunately, the darkness became friend with me and I lived almost like in hell. I discovered a bad space and the emptiness in my soul. And no one cared about me. I joined to brutal community. The only goal was to stay skinny or more… When I read these bad blogs, I discovered some song, it was “Not A Barbie Doll” by Kerli. And this song changed me, her voice gave me something what I didn’t know. I felt that these words are totally about me and my freak life. I was surprised. This song shoul inspire me to lost weight but he did something else, saved me. For several years, I listened to this song every day. Why? I felt the strenght to fight. This track is miracle.
I realized that Kerli has a unique voice. And I found her the next song “Butterfly Cry”. It broke my little heart. The first time she inspired me to overcome obstacles. And although my English was worse than bad, I created a blog about her. I was so surprised and happy when her “Love Is Dead” was released in my country. I bought this great LP. Her songs opened my mind and her blogs showed to me light. The first time in my life 🙂
But my life fucked up again. But thanks Kerli I met unique people, they are my family. Months passed, time passed but all the time I created her Polish fan club and KerliLand, but I joined to Table Of Love where I discovered lovely persons. I love them so much. They are my only real family. Thanks contact with MoonChildren and writing in English, I learning alone this language. I know that my English is bad but I know English just thanks Kerli.
Unfortunately, I went through the next level in my life. And I resigned from creating her fan blogs, and always I’m scared that she can be angry at me. But she is a lovely person and also she is my mentor. She has a big impact on my life. Thanks her I live and I create my art.
Many people hurt me but she inspired me to stay here. I wish Kerli like the best. I believe that she will realized her goals and dreams because she deserves!
Sometimes I want to give up. But when I see posters with her on my wall, I know that I must to fight again. But during the worse time I back to letter from her. I cry when I read it. Maybe it’s weird but I feel her positive energy. I’m grateful her for change my life. Thank you Kerli