Thoughts from Estonia Pt.1
Hi Moon Babies<3
As you know, I recently decided to take a break from my life and soak up some peace and looong overdue family time in the woods of Estonia.
It’s been a really interesting month and it’s given me a lot of new inspiration and perspective. I’ve been kinda just wandering in the woods and wetlands, really thinking about all my life thus far – the decisions I’ve made, the people I have associated with, the lessons I have learned….and I can say I am traveling back to LA with a lot of newfound strength, inspiration for my next artistic chapter and guts to follow my own truth.
At first I just slept for like two weeks. Until I actually got here I had no idea how much I had worn myself out with overworking. I am so happy I came home to my family cause honestly, if I hadn’t done this for myself, I’m afraid I would have ended up with cancer or some major disease. My liver was fucked, my kidneys were fucked – I just couldn’t get out of bed and was just sleeping and crying the whole time.
I know someone might look at a creative persons job and think it’s pretty fun. It is. It’s the best thing in the world but it’s also extremely challenging to carve out your own completely unique path and not following a default path that someone else has already paved. I’d say out of every 50 songs I write, one will get a release for example. You need to put in the time and effort to stumble on these true gems. It’s like all rejection all the time and it will really test your faith and belief in yourself on every step. I’m not complaining but I’m just saying how it is. The way my writer friends work, doing 3 songwriting sessions a day – that is some superhuman shit.
However, I am stopping that insanity and only writing songs for myself for another couple of months, which was something I really wanted to do here as well – work with my genius friend Ago. We have several gems that I just can’t wait to share with the world. He’s such a special person, not only because of how insanely talented he is but how insanely real he is. He’s definitely an alien if there is one on Earth. I have never met anyone else who stays THAT true…almost to a fault. But I needed to be around someone like this SO much because the rat race in LA sometimes makes you forget why you started making art in the first place. What it felt like to put on your headphones at 14 and hear a vibration that just completely fucking shattered your world and made you wanna be an artist.
That is what it’s about.
I also set up my own space at my grandpa’s writing room. He’s a songwriter and was my first singing teacher, giving me my first singing lessons at this very space.
I had some amazing inspiration come through in this room and it was just so nice to have coffee with the gramps in the morning…then go work til lunch, take a little break with grandmas home cooked meal and then keep writing til they kicked me out cause all the soap operas had ended for the day and they needed to go to sleep.
To be continued….