Halloween Costume DON’TS

With Halloween just DAYS away, most of you already have your costumes together, while some of you totally forgot about this being Halloweek, and you’re frantically searching the stores and your closet for something that will pass for a costume.

Well, listen up. You still have time, and you don’t want to make the mistake of looking like a total A-hole on All Hallow’s Eve. Here are some costume FAILS to show you what NOT to wear this year.

Ebola Costume

Here’s the deal, if you even considered this costume, you’re a total jerk. Not to mention the fact that they made it “sexy” so all of you Mean Girls will feel comfortable in it. Note: If you wear this costume, mostly likely someone will fight you. Just saying.


Yes, Borat was hilarious, but you’re not. You’re really just making everyone at the party lose their appetite and really uncomfortable.


I’m all about DIY, but some ideas just shouldn’t be practiced. This looks like the mom gave up after 3 minutes, or the kid literally did it himself, while he was asleep. If you’re going to DIY, at least try a little bit.

Spandex Bert Suit

We’re not sure why, as a grown man, you decided to spring for this skin-tight, Child-bait costume (hello, Chester Molester?) but we’re not into it. First of all, how do you even pee? Nevermind.

Sexy Fruit

First of all, you know you’re being THOSE GIRLS, right? Please stop. I don’t want to associate my future fruit salads with a memory of your butt cheeks hanging out. And pretty much stay away from anything named “sexy” if you don’t want to be considered a Mean Girl.

Miley Cyrus

We get it. We saw the award show, we saw the performance, we don’t need your rendition of the outfit. Unless you’re a dude, because that’s actually funny!

Zombie Hot Dog

I don’t even understand why this costume exists, honestly.

Awkwardly Peverted Guy

Please don’t be THIS GUY on Halloween. You’re just as bad as the Sexy Cats and Sexy Fruits. But actually, I guess you might as well wear this costume so you both can quickly find each other at the parties, because clearly, you’re a perfect match.


If you’re going to be Barbie (please don’t) at least somewhat resemble barbie. No offense, but this is a pretty bad attempt, and Barbie would never wear a Hello Kitty arm band, duh!

Bong Baby

We’re not sure why you would want to dress your kid in a life-size bong, or why you’re a parent at all, but just please don’t. We know you got the idea for the costume WHILE you were super high, but can’t believe you actually acted upon it. Poor kid.

Confused Costume Guy

With the leather baseball cap, the painted green Mask-like face, black-eye, and baseball jersey, it’s easy to see that this guy is clearly dressed up as the one and only–nothing. He obviously forgot it was Halloween until 5 minutes before the part and raided his little brother closet for ideas.

Sexy Big Bird

Again, we have no idea why anyone over the age of 10 would want to be a Sesame Street character, especially a “sexy” one, but who knows–maybe you’re an extreme pervert cougar? Either way, it’s just wrong and please don’t.

He-Thinks-He’s-Funny Guy

The only thing I want blow on you is a legit booger, but I’m not that kind of lady. Good luck finding anyone who wants to talk to you at the party, besides the other douchebag costume guys.

Pinterest Board

I love pinterest, but come on. This costume is so lame that I feel embarrassed for you. Maybe you can pin how much of a mistake this costume was tomorrow.


I hate this costume so much. Hashtags are already annoying but now you want to physically BE one? The only thing that could make it worse is if the word SWAG was on it somewhere.

Beer Warrior

Oh, it looks like the guy who still talks about highschool showed up, and guess what, he looooooves beer. Please tell us about that one time you played football and skipped class. I bet it was “so tight.”

Pillsbury Doughboy

Yet, another sad DIY attempt. I won’t be so hard on you since you’re a kid, but I definitely want to yell at your mom for letting you go out like this. She obviously thought that wet flour mixture would look like white facepaint.

Sexy Cat

You are THE reason girls hate being girls on October 31st. If you want to be a real Sexy Cat, be Cat Woman. She’s atleast legit hot, and not desperate looking.

“Kitty” Magnet

We’ll keep the name of this one friendly, but I’m pretty sure you all know where he’s coming from. My guess is that he’s definitely going home ALONE, bceause no dude dressed in that outfit will have any girls wanting to talk to him, besides, obviously the Sexy Cats and Sexy Fruit shown above.

That does it for now. Just remember–Be smart, look both ways before crossing the street, and don’t talk to douchebags in perv costumes. Have fun!

Xo Mindy