Put Your Records On: Kye Kye’s ‘Fantasize’ is Everything I’ve Ever Dreamed…and Then Some
There are great albums, and then there are albums that you didn’t even know you were waiting for. The albums that leave you with your mouth hanging open after every listen, wondering how the artist was able to pinpoint every confusing thought and emotion you’ve been burying inside and managed to put it into a song. That album for me right now is Kye Kye’s fantastic sophomore effort, Fantasize.
Fantasize is the album I’ve been living for the past four years. It’s like they went through every motion with me and made an album about it. Like they’ve read my diary and they just knew how to write every beautiful, crazy, ridiculous, horrific, questioning thought that I’ve ever had. Where words fail, music speaks – but I think they got it all down perfectly. Oh, and did I mention the delicious synth?
If you’re still reading this, God bless you. It’s about to get really cryptic in here. My apologies. Take a journey with me and enjoy the music.
Track 1 – “I Already See It”
“You and I
It doesn’t come at once
You and I
See for yourself where it goes
Sit and stare
Take your time, I already see it
For everything to fall into picture”
I can’t think of a more perfect opening track for an album that hides all of my secrets within 44 minutes. It’s the song I’d play for someone who has no idea what I’m about to tell them. No other song describes everything so impeccably. This whole situation is bizarre but it’s that sense of wonder that keeps me on my toes, hoping, praying, and believing in that positive outcome. God is my partner in crime, so to speak, in all of this, and I’d like to believe that He is doing his part in showing things to who needs to be seeing them.
Track 2 – “Honest Affection”
“I never knew I was in a place
Hiding to avoid any signals
I close my eyes and picture your face
And see a look I never envisioned”
This one takes me back to where it all began. There comes a point in your life when there is an invisible line between what life once was and how it is now. I was woken up one morning and my whole existence was shaken by one tiny event. I never knew that I was afraid of so many things, but once I awakened to that part of me that was subconsciously depriving myself, I knew things needed to change. I may not be where I envisioned I’d be at this stage, but I’m on my way and better off than I was at the beginning. Never settle.
Track 3 – “People”
“They see my heart
They keep away”
This song reminds me of the constant need to be liked on social media. Why we feel the need to please people we don’t know is beyond me, but I’m glad I take no part in it. I post the things that make me laugh with the hopes that it will make someone else laugh as well. I’ve noticed that anytime someone posts something meaningful with depth, it gets overlooked; meanwhile memes get over 100 likes. We’re not connecting the way social media was intended. Bottom line is, don’t wear your heart on your sleeve or people will deem you crazy. Because God forbid we show that we are human.
Track 4 – “Glass”
“Glass-clear thoughts for the shortest slight moments
Does the light just disguise you, or can you be found in it?
Drink it in.
Desire hit me so sweet”
I’m not entirely sure if these songs are meant to be taken in a spiritual way, but I found Kye Kye in RELEVANT magazine, which is a cultural publication, aimed at a Christian twenty-something audience. They’ve hinted at the possibility of God being their inspiration, but it has never been confirmed. Not that it matters because music is supposed to be interpreted any way the listener wishes. This song, for me, is my cry to God to help walk me through the confusion. Faith is something you are constantly battling, no matter how strong you feel about religion. For me, it goes deeper than what is written in the Bible. Scripture may be the foundation, but I’ve discovered more within the crevices. I rely on God to hold my hand through the anxiety. I’ll have one amazing thought that leads to my breakthrough, yet I’ll still be questioning if I’m right or just fooling myself. It’s important to learn how to trust, but it’s also okay to question.
Track 5 – “Scared or Selfish”
“Scared I’ll never know who you are
But I’ll try to realize what you’ve said
And I’ll try to erase my fear
Scared or selfish, who are you?
Blame myself for what I use
I want to have you”
This one has double meaning for me. Scared and selfish are the two words I’ve identified with myself for so long. Fear cripples me. I feel selfish for wanting certain things. Why should I have them? Do I even deserve them? Will I ever know who God is or who someone else is? Is this person everything I think they are? At the end of the day, I want to have both. A solid relationship with both God and said person. Am I selfish for wanting that? Maybe so. Am I scared? Absolutely. But that’s how you know it’s working.
Track 6 – “Dreams (2AM)”
“Push with a heart, with a weight
With a mind that knows the one narrow road
What you said is right, I’ll never walk away
You said wake up in the morning”
This is the song that started my Kye Kye journey. I was feeling incredibly emotional the night I discovered this song (being a girl is tough, man) and once I heard it, I burst into tears. The idea of dreams literally waking us up has been a reoccurring theme in my life and I couldn’t be more grateful. “I wait so then I know.” Waiting is the hard part. You will want to surrender to what your peers say. You will spend nights curled up in your blankets with a box of tissues and red eyes. The loneliness will suffocate you. But here’s what they don’t tell the masses: waiting provides you with everything you need to move forward. Patience shows you how to handle things in the future and it allows you to notice things you never would have seen if you were rushing your life away. Notice the signs. Use them to guide your way. Try to figure out what they are showing you. The road is narrow, but you know it well. You’ll get tired. You’ll want to throw it all away. Don’t. Keep walking. It’s only a test.
Track 7 – “Fantasize”
“Speak, I’ll wait
Subtle breeze in quiet patterns
I realize, realize
Soak it in
Love is accepted”
A gorgeous reprise of “I Already See It,” this song emphasizes the theme of this record for me, and beautifully recaptures the feeling of starting the album. You’re now ready for the next chapter.
Track 8 – “Seasons”
“Mind is strained
You think too fast
Waiting for the seasons
The darkest attacks
Forgetting all the reasons you used in the past”
For anyone who struggles with anxiety, this one should hit home. Our thoughts can become toxic to the point of no return. We inevitably start worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet and/or have no chance of happening. Sometimes, we find a way out of our bad thoughts, yet when they start to creep back in again, we forget what we once did to erase them. I say that every season brings on a different sentiment. You know how each season feels. You start to remember what the last one felt like while trying to piece together where the current one is heading. Just focus on what you want. Don’t let the dirty lies use up your time. Push it away. Beat it down. They’re only tainted illusions.
*Funny anecdote (because you’re probably either bored or depressed by now): When I first heard this song, I had no idea what lead singer, Olga, was saying so the chorus kind of sounded like “the doggies had sex.” Listen to it and tell me it doesn’t sound like that! 😀
Track 9 – “Softly”
“I sense that over everything you think of me
Wait, lover, wait on it
All you’ve got will only carry on”
This song is everything I’ve been crying out in my head for the past four years. Have you ever wanted to tell someone to just wait it out? Don’t settle? Over everything, I feel that this can work. I’ve built my entire foundation around that notion and I refuse to throw it away because it is taking a long time. Wait for me. I’m fighting. Don’t choose her. Just please…wait.
Track 10 – “Her”
“She has got me running
Faster than the wind blows
Oh your hands, I cried when I lost them
How would it be in years when we are saved from this?”
It aggravates me how perfect some girls can be. Of course, they happen to occupy the hearts of the people we love. She is a storm I can’t seem to run away from. But she’ll be gone soon. I can feel it.
Track 11 – “Hiding Place”
“Give it time, give it time
Patience sits on my lips
All of this waiting to grow
Focused eyes, use my time
Perfectly falling in line
This way, it will last”
You need a special hiding place to recollect yourself from all of the noise. This place helps you rediscover who you are, who you want to be and why. It is so vital to have these private places. Without them, it is hard to decipher what is truly important. You should walk away from these places feeling recharged and ready to face your next challenge.
Track 12 – “Celeste”
I love a good instrumental track – especially one that triggers a new scenario for that imaginary movie in your mind. No matter how many scenarios play out in my head while listening to this track, I always shed a tear. For hope. For promise. For us. For love. Because at the end of the day, love is all that really matters in this world. If I am a fool for believing that, then so be it. I’d rather die a fool than a cynic.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope it involves me giving this album to a certain someone and telling them to listen to it all the way through to understand the things I’m not sure I will ever be able to form into words.
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