The Truth About Love
As the year fastly comes to an end, we spend most of our time looking back. Looking back at the greatest moments and the not so happy moments. The people who entered and maybe exited dramatically. The things we accomplished and the people we spent the year with. People check up on you and you creeply check up on others. I have sat down to start writting my end of the year wrap up blog for this page. With that came a time capsel of memories that burst onto the page like confetti. That blog is coming soon, don’t worry. But like i mention, people check up on you during this season.
I was chatting with an old flame turned friend this past weekend. He was filling me in on his life and the words “I no longer do that as my job” came out of his mouth. He was also sporting a new hair cut. I remember when I first met him. He told me he would never quit his love for the road and his precious hair was never getting buzzed. A lot changes in almost 3 years of knowing each other. He was telling me about his girlfriend and I was filling him on my latest move to sin city.He digged into my life and my recent relationship or lack there of.
Something about December makes the truths come out. Mine was I haven’t even tried to find someone worth my time. I’m more worried about making sure my dreams of being sucessful come true. I of course wanted someone to be in my life, but it wasn’t happening.
Maybe that was my problem. I knew exactly what I wanted to get out of my career, but not what I wanted in a relationship. I thought I did for so long, but I couldn’t answer him.” What do you want from a guy” All that came out of my mouth was ” A long term commitment”. He then asked “Would you marry me in 6 months”. I truthfully could never do that, because I know that as much as I wanted a relationship with someone, marriage was not even in my book (not yet at least). Everything clicked, commitment is a big word and most of the time leads to marriage. Most people at my age date for a year or two and then BAM he’s down on one knee. Our worlds light up because the ring finallly proves that we’re not alone. I just wanted someone to share my life and journey with. Someone who wasn’t wanting to get married, but still be in a relationship that was exclusive.
So, I started thinking and writting and making a list of all the things I wanted out of a relationship at this stage in my life. I most certainly think it will be helpful. I strongly encourage you do so, if you are still unsure as to why you’re single. It may be because you have no idea what you want.
I crave a love filled with little moments. Little moments that leave me giggling for hours. A gentlemen so passionate about his life that it leaves me wanting to take bigger risks. A test of my musical knowledge and hours spent listening to our favorite tunes. A thrill like Michael and a kiss like Prince. Respect and honor go a long way. A drop of grace. Simple voice messages when I’m too busy to get a hold of. Surprise vistis back and fourth like it’s a treasure hunt. A simple song to say. Challenges to get me to try something knew. Fight to discover how strongly we care. Never wondering what I mean to you. At the end of the day he knows No matter what we say or do, we know we’re bankrupt without love.