Spread The Love & Hope

December isn’t my favorite month because he brings me sadness memories and feelings. If you are alone, you know about what I talk to you. One year ago we thought about the end of the world. But we are still alive and I believe that this is something like a gift, and we have to care about it. I dreaming about give you everything the best, I don’t want to that someone feels pain. No one deserves to feel bad and be depressed. My heart is open always for you too!!!!

How I’ll spend this month. I want to blogging but I can’t, you know why. It hurts me because art and wonderful families from Table Of Love , Dream On and Buzznet are everything what I have, but live doesn’t wait… In Saturday I’ll have the first exam and it makes me excited and scared because my memory doesn’t works too good. And unfortunately it’s my blame. Christmas is the hardest time to me because I’m alone and I’m atheist. As always I’ll sit down alone in my room, without any contact with you, the same in New Year Eve. I know, I must to be a fighter. I promised it you, and I’ll try to not disappointed you. But it made me happy that sometimes thanks my sister I can write with you. You are the best people!!!!!!!!

I went by hard time during the last weeks. Although some part of my soul is there but I can’t give up. I fight with my demons and I try to be more strong every single day. You inspiring me so much. Sometimes someone messages me, thanks for it. I want to just see smile on your face. I walking on air when I read that my post helped you although a little because it’s my life mission. Spread the love and hope.

And I feel that inside me is still a little kid, my escape are crayons. I love drawing and when I touch these it makes me free. Drawing and writing songs/poems is like the only treatment. No one can steal these things from my heart. But you know, when I have worse days and when everything is black is hard to realize that I can create.

Always I heard that I’m nobody, the last time someone called me fat. I don’t know why we use these stupid etiquettes. I respect everyone, I hate when someone hurts someone. RESPECT it true key for us. Just I try to be myself and see it what is the best in you. I don’t like use the word “hater”. Yeah, maybe inside me is something crazy but love and respect forever and I will not forget about it.

I think a lot about my past life and I know that it’s not good but I want to found there some strength to be more strong. I think about a few projects for you but always is “but”. I don’t know if I’ll have a chance to realized it but all the time you are in my heart and I can’t stop think about you.