Diary: Where I Am?

Where I am? What I do? Why I feel not good? Really, I don’t know. I don’t know why this world hates me so much. I did something bad, but I wasn’t aware of it. I lost my weight again, although the last 6 months I fought with myself to gained and kept more, yeah it was one kilo but big success to me. Unfortunately, the last days brought changes and I lost two kilos. I heard that “I’m fat” and every single day I spent some time with my school things. I must everyday because state of my memory is tragic. I don’t feel too good also because “I want to die” by cold air. All the time I feel cold. And it makes that I want to cry when is the worse. I lost everything what was possible. And I doing so bad, because I say to loud about my problem, maybe I’m tired of everything, I don’t know. I feel so ashamed by it.

I think about Christmas and I beat hope more and more. You know I’m atheist but I’m human too. It will be the hardest weeks to me, stay alone should be my second name. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy. I feel that someone cut my wings and every level of my life is like a war, just I’m too weak to fight all the time. I dream that someone hugs me and said that I’ll through by it… that everything will be ok. But my dreams= bad luck.

I don’t know what will bring to me 2014 but I don’t believe that something positive. Probably everything will be worse than is right now. It’s my life……..

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