You were born to be REAL….
I feel pressure. I can’t believe in it. I create new things but reality treates me in complicated way. I want to have good grades but my memory isn’t nice to me. I know that the reason is my weight. I learn, learn and learn without any effect. “Calm down” should be my motto.
I miss to the time when everything was easy. I was a little girl with teddy bear. Yeah, all the time I love teddies because in their eyes is hope, not pain. But these darkness thoughts about met with judgement by my weight back to me. I don’t want to that this situation met me, so I have to eat more… but I don’t want to weight more.
I eat more and I don’t want to eat more. Yeah, my mind sounds weird. I want to be strong but I’m weak. But I belive there is place where waiting hope and someday, you know the world will better to me.
Sometimes, I need to say what I feel and now I think that is this moment. Someone can calls me “stupid” because I write about these things on blog and I share with you but maybe someone will understand me.
And something nice, in new school I met wonderful people. It makes me happy. But sometimes is hard to be “happy” when in your eyes is fear. I remember some situation from Saturday. I had the last lessons and we had do some things in groups and it scared me so much because I have bad memories. My face showed “enjoy” but the soul “fear”.
Being blogger makes me free and I can forgot about suffer from the past life and about some things. The last time I thought what brought to me the last years and I think that changed me and my style.
I don’t want to be victim, anymore!!!!