Heartblog: How Do You Deal With Jealousy?


Well, The Killers sang about way back when, and I didn’t really understand it. I’ve never been a jealous person. when I was a dancer, I heard stories of other girls being green with envy- but I worked from a place of thinking that there was enough to go around and OF COURSE I wanted the best for myself, but I never wanted anything bad for others.

When I was on the dating scene, and throughout different people I was involved with and different relationships, I never felt much jealousy either. I always thought maybe I just wasn’t a jealous person i mean….literally, pictures would show up on the internet of guys I was dating fully snuggled up with other insanely hot girls and my thought would be “well, man, I really like that girls haircut.” I just didn’t have the jealous bug.

So, it felt super weird when all of a sudden in the past year I’ve become a green monster. I’ve begun looking at everyone around me and comparing myself to them in every way. I’ve begun not loving people fully and not being a compassionate human, I really had sort of become evil. My jealousy had caused me to actually wish for other people to fail. What a terrible thing to admit!

It finally came to a horrible place where my heart felt black, I had been so consumed with my own imperfections and then my jealousy and I needed a break from the ugly person I was becoming so I reached out to my friend and life guru Suzanne for some advice. I wondered how to deal with the jealousy that comes along with competing the other girls and living in the entertainment business (but I think the same rules go no matter what you are doing with your life.)

She had the GREATEST advice.

Suz told me to write a list of everything I am jealous of in others and why, and then, what steps I can take for myself in order to have more of the things and qualities that they have.

It seems so stupid right, but i realized that i was spending so much time comparing myself to others that I wasn’t spending anytime on bettering MYSELF. I took Suzanne’s advice and it totally cleared out my head, and also, it cleared out my soul.

I think jealousy can actually be a little bit helpful, it pushes us to want more and to work hard, but when it starts blackening your soul, it’s not good. we can’t really control what happens to other people. we cannot control what luck they run into, or how great THEY are, but we can control how great WE are, so why do we spend so much time being green with envy?

If you are feeling this way, try Suzanne’s exercise, it’s good to clean your mind and also to take a really honest look at what changes you can be making to become the person you really want to be! Good luck! Love you guys! xx

How do you handle jealousy?