30 Reasons Why My Bandmates Are My Best Friends

To keep up with this month’s theme of fall in love, I’m going to tell you all why I love the Hearts’ boys so much. Sure, sometimes they are giant babies but mostly they’re pretty alright. After all, it is a special breed of human I can tolerate for 10+ hour drives in a cramped minivan. Yeah, I said that right – Candy Hearts travels soccer mom style – no van, no trailer, no bus (lol) and it’s pretty uncomfortable. Think about driving overnight and sleeping on top of guitars and t-shirt boxes. Alas this leads me to my first point:

1. They let me put my legs on them when I’m sleeping/lounging in the van. Everyone is uncomfortable and we only have 1 bench with no legroom so someone has to share. Thus, the boys let me use them as a leg rest. And they always share blankets. #friendshipbench as we call it.

2. They dont let make me drive. I don’t want to anyway.

3. The let me take the last shower. Everyone knows I’m the sleepiest person in the band, and I’ll make them late anyway, so they just wake me up last now, which is really considerate when you think about how much longer it takes me to do my hair.

4. They ignore my mood swings. I have mood swings, quite obviously as anyone would who is low on sleep, but no one is as crotchety as Kris (if you’re reading this, sorry brother, you’re an only child and I get it). Instead of telling me im being a raging b**ch, they kind of just say “classic” and move along. And no, they dont ask me if it’s that time of the month.

5. They don’t get bothered by tampons. They’re living in a van with a girl. There are tampons everywhere. In the glove compartment, in the merch bin, on the floor, in our suitcases. so many tampons. Why? Mainly I forget where I put them so I keep buying more. I think they don’t get bothered though because I hide them in their things sometimes on purpose and they don’t want to feed into it.

6. They will buy me medicine/feed me soup. In the common event that I am ill or injured on tour (concussions, broken bones and terrible colds have been known to happen as I am supremely clumsy), they’ll try their best to help me out. One time in particular I had the flu and I thought I was dying. Okay, I just felt like I was and Kris came into my disease infested hotel room to help me walk to the bathroom and feed me soup. I seriously couldn’t even sit up. And he drove to a bunch of random places to find that good, behind-the-counter stuff. That’s friendship.

7. They will carry me home drunk. It’s pretty rare that I drink at all, especially rare if I drink alot, but if I accidentally drink more than I can take (Like that time New Found Glory fed me a few more shots than I could handle) they will throw me over their shoulder, carry me into wherever we are staying and they even have the decency to take off my shoes. They will even charge my phone for me.

8. They make sure I dont forget things. I am the queen of forgetting. Cellphone, jacket, money. you name it, I’ve forgotten it.

9. They carry the heavy stuff. It’s just easier for them and why is my guitar so heavy? come on! They always help me with my overstuffed suitcase too.

10. They have my back.They’ve seen me be sexually harassed, mocked and lied about. They always stand up. And I always stand up for them.

11. But if I’m really wrong they tell me to f**k off. and forget about it 20 minutes later.

12. They share snacks.

13. We have fun in the most boring situations. Whether it’s dancing in a parking lot waiting for the venue to open or counting merch and mailing packages, we have fun. Sometimes that means impersonating Pauly Shore and Flava Flav in different real-life scenarios.

14. They let me be depressed. Sometimes the road wares on me. Sometimes I’m arguing with my friends at home or I read awful things about us online or sometimes there is no reason and I just feel like how I feel. Instead of fruitlessly trying to cheer me up, they just let me be alone.

15. Whiskey Club. If you’re in on whiskey club consider yourself on the inside.

16. They’ll wear matching outfits with me. Best friends sometimes need to match.

17. Things like this:

18. They know TMI.We share too much. Way, way too much. Sometimes a toothbrush, sometimes a story, occasionally the common cold. But it’s usually pretty funny.

19. They fix my gear when it breaks, and restring my guitar just because.

20. They hate the same people I do– so one needs not to worry about trash talk

21. They have a pretty good sense of direction, something I don’t possess.

22. They let me ask for a million Candy Crush lives on Facebook, and it annoys them, but they don’t unfriend me. I seriously have a problem.

23. They are masters at “Dave”-ing. For those of you who this hasn’t happened to, it’s the fragile art of whispering Dave Matthews lyrics into one’s ear in a very soft, sensual tone, and very, very close distance. Kris invented this – guilty as charged!

24. They let me play Bon Jovi and Matchbox 20 in the car as much as I like. And Ashlee Simpson and Taylor Swift and Ke$ha and the same Weakerthans album over and over.

25. They’re the first people I ask for advice and the first people I call to hangout. Honestly, they don’t always give the best advice but they’ll let me talk at them, with a glazed over, not-paying-attention look.

26. Sometimes they leave me out, but it’s never on purpose. Venice Beach, I’m still mad.

27. They get excited over the most mundane things. It’s really quite inspiring.

28. Kris’ dog. look. awww.

29. They appreciate pictures of cute animals.

30. They believe in this band – which is my heart and soul. Whether we play for 1 person or 1,000 they believe in me. They never get upset or doubt it and they wouldn’t stick around otherwise. They follow my advice and put full trust in me to make some big decisions with our band and they’ve lived the songs I’ve written for about 3 years now.