Today was a shit day. It had it’s ups and downs.
I think that it finally dawned on me that I’m going to be left alone.
That’s what I wanted, right?
I’m feeling a pang of different emmotions, the most prominent ones, fear and lonliness.
My siblings are going off to college.
I’m excited for them, excited to watch them do something with their lives, but I’m scared to death of those moments lost when I as happy around them.
This summer made me happy.
I really liked being around my siblings.
I’m going to miss them.
But I do want my own room, I want it to be a sign of me.
I want my room to be me and I couldn’t do that when my sister was around.
Or maybe I just need something to keep my occupied.
It’s August 9th, I’m on chapter four of the Outsiders, I have another book report to do and I don’t want to go back to school.
All my teachers hate me.
I’m not that excited to see my friends, my best friend- we drifted apart.
She’s going to another school this year.
My supposed best friends, or the friendship we were trying to build forgot my birthday which was a complete setback and I ditched her once, but we’re too different.
Then there’s Emma.
Budding best friends, that’s what we are.
She’s new to my school, only been there for a couple months, barely.
I think that she’s going to keep me grounded, happy.
But I’m not too sure.
I’m really scared for the future.
And I don’t know if I want one.