Where I Am?

My practice… today I was in travel agency about 5 mins. It was crazy time. I gave to workers contract from my school and I heard not nice words. I see that people there aren’t happy that I’ll have practice. It’s not my first practice but I thought that will be better. I sound stupid but when I think that I have to back there tomorrow I’m worse.

I remember my last practice when I lost too many weight and it affected at me. I love people and they inspiring me so much but I don’t know if I’ll not give up.

And I’m worried because just 9 days to met with the doctor. Right now I agreed to treatment anorexia because it was only solution. I didn’t want to be in mental hospital..COMPULSORY for a few days.. my lovely bmi(15,47- I don’t put lbs because I don’t want to sound harmful) is reason to do it.. but if I’ll have less than 15,00 they will take my to hospital… please not

I’m scared that these practice will put me down and I’ll give up. You give me light and hope and now everything will lose by it that I do what I hate.

I don’t know why always pain is around me. Really I want to weight more.

I think that I’ll try create more my art because I don’t want that something killed my soul. Thank you that I can feel free here.

Sending a lot hugs to you!!!!!!

P.S. Drawing is by my Polish friends who’s met thanks @kerli 🙂 She drew me about one year ago.