My Very First Warped Tour: Seattle

I have never been to Warped Tour. Ever. In my life. Saying that I had never been to a Warped Tour was almost like this strange Badge of Honour that only my Hipster Fairy Godmother and I could see. Oh and Jesus or something, because that dude sees EVERYTHING.

Le Schedule – Sorry iz all small and stuff. Whatever.

The closest that I ever got to a Warped Tour was when I was in high school and I dropped all my friends off so they could watch NOFX in like 1990 whatever or something. Since I was the only one of my mates that had a driver’s license, I got to be the dad and drop the kids off at some venue and then I think I went to an arcade till a set time to pick them up. Anyway, let’s talk about my first Warped Tour.

I was mostly there early and I was taking pics of nothing

I was all up at the Warped Tour because Buzznet has a booth there. I was helping set up stuff and get in the way of everything because that’s what I do. I think I was supposed to take pics of Festival Fashion or something but since I am an old dude with a camera, that shit always makes me feel like a creep so I decided to not have charges pressed against me and didn’t do that.

Walking around before everyone showed up

Instead of being gross and asking teenage girls to pose for me in their tiny shirts and cut off shorts that look like Tobias Funke’s never nude garb, I went to watch some bands.


Beebs & Her Money Makers – Sweet ska-sy tunes

Echosmith – They have a profile on Buzznet and they are signing stuff at our booth all summer:

Yay signing stuff! They have cool little tote bags and posters and buttons and stuff

I forgot their name but they were really rad

This is the drummer

The Swellers – They were the only band that I wanted to see and that I had heard of on the tour. I suckkk

Oh so we have tattoos for you at our booth and bandanas yay!

Also, if you go to our booth in the Girl’s Garage, you’ll meet Brittany:

She’s AMAZING! And she’s good at having all the fun evs:

Le Bubbles!

Look at that BLD

And yes, he’s getting his shoe laces tied by some person because they’ve like, made it

I was almost going to talk about how I felt out of place all day but when I thought about it, I really wasn’t. Warped Tour is this strange musical bubble where all types of different people come together just to hear some sweet tunes, have some sweet hangs, and see old friends.

Things you see on Warped Tour

Maybe sometimes you feel a little strange and like you don’t fit in but guess what? At Warped Tour, no one cares and it’s mostly just this giant roving party town full of good times and awesome. It really is the best day ever.