If I Lose Myself
I’m in trouble. My life kicks me still. I want to be happy and stop worry about things around me. Unfortunately, reality is brutal and I can’t do it. My dreams dying and I don’t understand this world. I don’t hurt the people but my situation is just worse.
During last days I was offline here because I felt horrible. I cried because I didn’t have for create my art, talking to you and posting cool stuffs. Do you want to know why? I began practice in travel agency and it’s not nice there.
I feel uninspired and I’m so scared tomorrow. I’ll go again there. I don’t want to so much. I believe that you can’t imagine how much. Worker place it’s not good for me so the whole body hurts me, even now… and I feel that life lose a sense there. I’ll not work in tourism but I have be there. I suffer so much… and also I lose my weight what’s very bad to me. Right now my bmi says 15,39 :/ It makes me scared. I don’t want to die. But tomorrow again I’ll in pain. To the end of August I’ll in this place and I don’t know what will be with me.
In Wednesday I go to the doctor. Yeah therapy…I had a choice hospital or therapy. And just practice makes me worse. Can someone save me? I think that no one. I don’t know why this life is full of the bad moments. I want to touch the rainbow and be happy.
I want to be writer/songwriter but I think that I’ll not be. When I write I feel that I’m in heaven. I don’t want to touch the hell anymore. But Monday will the next part of it… and the worse that I didn’t go in Friday to agency so they will kill me… but what I have to do. My body is so tired. No one knows how much.
Right now I cry when I write it. You know me, you know how shy girl I’m and now I don’t want to lose myself. I don’t want to….
Thanks Buzznet the last year was for me fabulous. I discovered who I am and what I want to do in my life. But now I lose it, it what I loved. I’m closed in cage the worse moments and nothing.. just in my breath hopeless…
I want to be happy, I don’t want to these practices tomorrow… Yeah I’m so pathetic but I really need help. Where you are? Why you left me?
And tomorrow I’ll fight again. Just I wanted to show you a part of something what I wrote for lovely group on Facebook. When I’ll feel better it I’ll finish it. Soon I’ll say more about it:
“We raise from the ashes and we touch the stars We traverse the galaxy, no one can stop us With head up in the clouds, we fulfill our dreams Always united in love and hope for better tomorrow”
BUZZNET I LOVE YOU SO MUCH and this image is for you!!!