I Wonder If You Ever Just Stop And Think “Man, I Miss Her”
A thought that has been keeping me up until the wee hours of the morning. You see, our story never really had an ending. I was too much of a girl to actually call him out and he was not much of a man to end it. So instead, the texts got shorter, and the time inbetween them got longer.
So what do you do when someone forgets about you? You forget about them. I hit the erase contact and cleared you from the timeline. I truthful almost threw up, but I thought a pat on the back was much better. 16 year old me would of said “You’re Crazy” but 20 year old me knew it was time to let go…..My heart told me to leave.
I had a conversation the other night with a friend who saw every single side. The good, bad, cute, ugly. The calling her in the middle of an airport giddy/ crying from my hotel room. I somehow stumbled on one of our conversations from when me and his story began. ” I think it’s the way he is with you. He has a LOT of girls that he’s friendly with but he’s different around you. And people approve of you… Everyone was like “Aww that makes me happy.” “They look good together”. She also told me to tell him if I felt like I was losing him…… That conversation never happened between us.. I had already lost him.
I can’t recall the last time he talked to me…. Or the last time he told me he liked me.
—– Flash Forward To Present————-
My gal pal had texted me and his name was brought up and It started off with us both mentioning that we were sad and some how we blamed the universe.
R:”Yep. This is the end” G: “This is the universe saying you can do better”
A book, d-list girl, a denial about the whole thing, Tyson Ritter, and his ego were also mentioned.
It seems I can’t escape his scent, name, voice. It’s like I fell down the Rabbit Hole and he’s the rabbit. Everything that happened seems unreal. I’m thinking about all the things I miss about being with him. What do you do when someone says “I just see you guys tieing the knot in the future” SCARY…. I’m not even in the right mind set to be thinking about that…. Maybe that was the problem. Or the whole other girl…girls…and a fake friend.
I’m just a 20 year old girl, who blogs about music, with hopes to take over Late Night. And whatever IT was, has now turned into a story with unclear scripples and dust. Wondering if you ever blow it off, turn back and say, “Man I Miss Her”