EW WHY? Lindsay Lohan Is Covered In Bruises and Vanessa Hudgens Needs To Stop

^This is me reading the daily news.

It’s only Wednesday and yet so much weird sh*t has happened in Hollywood already. Let’s discuss.

First things first, Lindsay Lohan is mysteriously covered in bruises:

Amanda Bynes thinks that switchin’ her weave to red will convince us that she has an evil twin out there:

Yep that’s right Ryan Cabrera got a Ryan Gosling tattoo. So there’s that.

This Vanessa Hudgens video for $$$ex is madness and I dont understand:

Avril WON’T grow up…or go away :/

Did I miss any cray-cray news? What can we make off all this? Is the world ending any day now?