Honesty Blog: Stay True, Stay Strong, Stay Beautiful
As some of you may know, there is a new Bloggers Against Cyber Bullying group that we wanted to share with you all because to be blunt, bullying of any kind f$%^ing sucks. Before I say more…go join the group HERE!
After reading a lot of the amazing anti-bullying posts from bloggers on here, it inspired me to put my tough girl pants on and share my story with you all.
Let’s take it back to when I was 7, age I first realized I had low self esteem. I was never overweight or anything but I was that little girl that always had a little extra “chunk” or “baby fat” and I knew I wasn’t a fan of it. A few years passed and I was one of the first girls I knew who had to start wearing a bra, which as my mom promised, I am now thankful for later in life. I also recall being teased for having more guy friends because I loved video games, my razor scooter and music just as much as I loved wearing dresses.
Speeding up to when I was 12…I had to move from Boston, MA to NH at the end of 6th grade, a year where you REALLY are starting to find the real YOU. Let’s just say…that was VERY hard on me, a new school, all new friends and no safety net. Starting a new school is tough, luckily I found some great people to hang out with and started to be friends with EVERY clique because, I WAS THE NEW GIRL!
High school, the years we all can’t wait to experience, yet when the first day comes you have never been more nervous to enter a building, guaranteed. These years are the important years because you now have access to a broader horizon, more experiences, new people, things within driving distance. Once you find your passion it seems you are forced into only a small group of people who also think it’s cool and to everyone else..”it’s so weird, and so lame”. Say no to that, do what YOU want and be friends with EVERYONE YOU LIKE!
Passion is the key to life. I thankfully found mine way before high school. As lame as it sounds I knew that music was my passion from the day I was born. I started getting a name for myself online and gaining popularity due to my impact I had on other kids in the music scene all across the country, even the world. I had more friends than ever and these people didn’t think I was weird for wearing a band shirt or making my hair blonde and black. I started my own website with my two friends and we got to attend shows and interview the biggest bands in the scene, it was the best times of my life.
Pure passion intimidates the weak. I learned this just as fast as I learned to follow my dreams. Every single day I would get about 5-40 anonymous hate messages on my Myspace “ask box”. They were filled with death threats, comments about my looks and comments on me being a “band whore” based on the fact I was doing music journalism. Although, deep down I knew the truth, hearing mean, terrible things on a daily basis REALLY can destroy you. This went on for years and I would sometimes just sit in my room in tears wondering if I should just give up on it all.
I still remember the day I made the mental transition into taking that hate and letting it push me harder than ever to prove these people wrong and show them what I was made of. I ended up getting into the college I wanted that I paid for, graduated and immediately got to go on tour…just like everyone told me I wouldn’t. Everything is possible if you believe and jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.
I currently am living my dreams and have not stopped accomplishing every single goal I have set for myself from the start. It is a constant rollercoaster but the ride is SO worth it. I never thought the day would come where I can say the hate is almost 100 percent out of my life, I have overcome it. Those terrible people along with people from High School message me now, not with hate but with praise and are seeking advice. My advice to all of you who are reading this is…stay strong, NEVER EVER give up, believe in YOU even when no one else does. YOU ARE unique, YOU ARE weird, YOU ARE not able to be classified…you are a beautiful human. You are the first and last you that will bever be, so OWN IT!
With all that off my chest now, if any of you ever need advice, an ear or a friend…I am here<3