Heartblog: This Is Your Life. (Happy New Year.)
So, it’s the beginning of the new year. Usually, my New Years blog would consist of me talking about my favorite moments of the year, the things I have learned (many), what I regret (times one million) and the things I loved. But, if you read this blog, and are a part of my army, you know that I’ve had a pretty great year, and that I’ve spent a lot of time crying myself to sleep and hating myself, and trying to act cool and collected in daily life (nothing changes.)
Instead, I wanted to say this to you. I hope you read it and share it:
This is your life. It’s happening right now. The 4 minutes it takes you to read this are four minutes of your life that you can’t get back. Your life isn’t what will happen in 5 years when you graduate, or in 2 weeks when you get to see your crush again. Your life isn’t just the good stuff, your life is also not just the bad stuff. Your life isn’t how many followers you have, or what photos you see when you look at your feed today. Your life isn’t what will happen when you lose the weight, or stop drinking coke, or have more friends.
Your life is NOW. With your two friends, with the extra 10 pounds, and then 3848 things you wish you could change. Your life is right now, what you see with your eyes, what you feel in your gut, and what makes your skin prickle. Your life is right here in front of you, and you are wasting it. You are wasting it ignoring the guy long enough until he think you stopped caring (but you don’t, you just sit there checking your phone every 5 seconds for a week.) You are wasting your time hating your face in the mirror. You are wasting your time replying to haters and hateful people who simply cannot live with the kind of compassion and open hearts that they should. You are wasting your life.
It’s a new year, and it’s your life. We all put things on a list, and think that because they are on a list, that they will change. But they won’t. What will change? YOU! It will not be easy. Change is hard, living a full out life instead of some sort of numb prozac “it will get better when…” life, is easy and lazy. But, this is my yearly reminder that time is running out. Your life is happening. Right now. So get out that list, make it full of greatness and wake the fuck up, and go out there and be the person you want to be in your head, dreams and life. It’s no one’s job but your own to be fabulous and lead a fantastic, compassionate, exciting, loving existence. This is a BLESSING that has been given to you, and you need to wake up and stop taking it for-granted.
I’m so excited for us. All of us. We are so magical. We will create magical things in 2013. I love you. I love You. I LOVE YOU. xx
P.S. this year I quit diet coke (for good) saw my first dietician and learned to eat veggies and fruit, stopped fucking with my hair, stopped talking to people who hurt me, used the most compassion ever and loved some people I love through some nasty stuff, rode an elephant and a dog sled, donated money and helped my favorite charity. I learned that I am smart, but I’m not smarter than everyone. I learned to take the time to stop and thank people who help me. I learned that fake eyelashes really do make everything better. I stood true to my goal to make new friends in LA, and to actually CALL those friends on the telephone, instead of just following their feeds….and crossed some pretty big things off my list- got a prime time hosting job, got engaged (that actually happened last year) wore a gown (it was glittery and I loved it) and ALMOST finished my (our) next book. xx.