FOURTH CHAPTER OF “THE PINK TEARS”: MEMENTO MORI

IV Memento Mori

Isolated from the world I found it what I needed. Mysterious, almost unkown place was my “sacrum”. Just chosen had entry there. No matter was who you are, valid was only goal. Being weak wasn’t option. A little mistake meant the end. Although I was there shortly, I’ll not never forget what I saw.

Weeping, I looked for hope. I looked out of the window. The snow fell from the clouds so slowly. I saw emptiness. I wanted to change something in life. I repeated it again. I was scared. Time passed and I felt worse and worse. One day, looking understanding I found some Internet’s forum. Without thinking I filled out a registration form and I created topic about myself. Answers to the members questions had to decide whether the administrator will allow join me to the “community”.

I didn’t expect what can meet me there. Attacks, humiliation meant that I hated myself more. I felt that even they don’t want to know me. I was so wrong. After a week I received the message that I was accepted. I went through the “baptism” and I was “the butterfly”. One of the most beautiful creatures. I don’t tasted in their world too long. But I discovered something what a normal person can’t see. Talks about the millions of diet, advices how to cheat the doctor, etc.

I couldn’t stay there longer. I couldn’t see how they attacking innocent people. In memory I have just two sadness moments. Young girl fought about entry but she didn’t have any chance. They considered that she should committed suicide. The best solution. Too cruel but true. Boy fought about life girlfriend. Community destroyed her. I ran away from them. Though I know that they are still there and still searching new butterflies. I can’t do anything. Butterflies are everywhere and the law allows suffering to girls and boys. I hope that someday things will change for the better.