SECOND CHAPTER OF ” THE PINK TEARS”: FUGIT HORA
II. FUGIT HORA
Drops of rain woke me. I stared at the cold shafts. Time passed slowly. Everything stood in place. Past and present interected together. They confessed me secrets in silence.They knew that I will keep them forever. The monotomy of the world enslaved me. I couldn’t make anything, although I wanted so much. Just me and the “SOMETHING” attacking me every day. I tried to look at the world different glance but as usually everything was the same. I lived in routine. Routine of the pain.
The next step is fall into unkown.I felt fear. “SOMETHING” crept in my life and didn’t want to leave me. Thoughts ran away giving silly ideas. I didn’t know if I will be here next day, if you will too. Destiny was something unkown and my enemy. I tried to changed life, although a little part but still something destroying what I began.
With deserted head I back to school. I went with uncertainly there. A new place, new people. I wanted to discovered there hope. I desired to be like a air. Although I didn’t know what can to meet me yet. Fright perceptible in every breath paralyzed me. I observed silently everything around me. Unfortunately, again I had to fight about survival.
If anyone knew who I was. No one cared. I pretend happiness, after a few years it was so easy. I could cry inside and be so happy on the outside. Art controlled to perfection. The second face which I lost. I couldn’t find…
Mornings in the buses, trams and bored people. Sleepy, discouragement everything like me. I began my lessons without enthusiasm. I listened, read and answered but I didn’t understand. I learned but I didn’t remember. The secretes multiplied, grades were worse. I needed to talk, advice but I drowned in books. I tried but no one would believe me that I try. Almost all my time I sacrificed this stuffs about which I couldn’t speak…