Cady Groves Exclusive: 14 Things You Should Never Do On A Date

Sassy firecracker Cady Groves writes songs that empower girls and put boys in their place. She knows how a girl should be treated, so for Valentine’s Day we asked Cady for her take on dating–more specifically, what a girl shouldn’t do! We laughed pretty hard…

14 things you should never do on a Valentine’s Day date… or any date!

1. Never mention that your mom married your uncle one time (my bad)

2. Don’t ask your date if they have either a) a Farmville account or b) words with friends.

3. Don’t mention if you have a kid or are married. That’s date 2 stuff.

4. Don’t be scared to order the appetizer. Dudes like a healthy appetite.

5. Don’t hesitate to offer to pay half the bill. It makes you look like a badass. Or like an independent woman. Like Beyonce. So like I said before, badass.

6. Don’t mention the fact you are lactose intolerant. That makes you seem gassy and weird.

7. Don’t talk about how much money your date makes. Instead just order everything on the menu and see if they seem nervous.

8. If you are a girl and have made out with other girl’s before-now is not the time to mention it. That makes you seem skanky. And while skanks are cool, they aren’t cool Valentine’s Day material.

9. Don’t use the bathroom more than once during your date. He’ll think you’re blowing that shit up.

10. For obvious reasons, don’t order the curry dish.

11. Don’t say things like “I love buttrock ” because that’s a turn off.

12. If you have a tramp stamp, don’t offer to reveal it before the second course. I said second course not second base.

13. If your Valentine brings you a card… don’t make the dad joke that you just “took his v card”

14. Don’t hold back. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Whip out everything you got, girl. This is your night. Dip it in the minestrone.

Well, now you are ready to head out on that date! Happy Valentine’s Day y’all!