Hotel Suspects Lady Gaga of Bathing in Blood for ‘Satanic Rituals’

Elizabeth Bathory, otherwise known as The Blood Countess, was convincted of murdering scores of young women and bathing in their blood in hopes that it would give her eternal youth. She was sentenced to be imprisoned in her castle and left to die.

Hold on, I’m going somewhere with this.

For years, horror writers have speculated on what could happen if Bathory WASN’T really dead and had, instead, actually achieved eternal youth via her strange beauty rituals. But none of them speculated that Bathory eventually became Lady Gaga.

Well, funny story.

Apparently, employees at London’s Intercontinental Hotel found Lady Gaga’s tub filled with a red liquid while she was staying at the hotel. One housekeeper has apparently accused Gaga of performing Satanic rituals, and explains “Lady Gaga left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer. The incident was reported to the concierge, who was told to put it out of her mind.”

The Sun suggests that the liquid was probably just bathwater left over from Lady Gaga washing off fake blood after an on-stage performance.

Hey, stop interjecting logic into this.