Let’s Face It: Ryan Gosling is a Cyborg or Something
In the X-Men universe, there is a group called “Weapon X” who experimented on people (and mutants) in order to create super soldiers. Operating in the wilds of Canada, they were responsible for the creation of Wolverine, his clone Laura/X-23 and other characters/plot points.
And now, my friends, I can reveal to you we have evidence that Weapon X is REAL. But they aren’t making super soldiers, oh no. They are doing something very different. They are trying to make some sort of perfect person/boyfriend. And they may have succeeded.
They created Ryan Gosling.
I mean, we had clues before. He’s attractive. He’s a critically acclaimed actor. He’s a musician. He gladly laughed at and seemed to really enjoy the “Hey Girl” meme. He spoke out against the censorship in “Blue Valentine” calling it sexist (and he was right). He broke up a fistfight, peacefully, just because it was the right thing to do.
And now, he’s taking ballet.
No, not for a role. Just because he wants to.
Clearly, Ryan Gosling is not human. Or at least not entirely. He is legitimately too good to be true.
We’re on to you, Gosling. And we’ll be watching you.
And enjoying every damn second of it.