In Other News: PETA sues animals for wearing fur and The Hurt Feelings Report

Well, okay, maybe PETA didn’t exactly sue animals for wearing fur, but they might as well have. In today’s installment of WTF**K-ery, I found this on the internet:

Okay. I get it, PETA, except no, not really.

Contrary to popular belief, eating stars will not make you invinsible. There is no flower on the entire planet that can make you shoot fireballs. Wearing the skin of anything won’t make you fly, no matter how hard you try. Turtles don’t have wings. I think PETA didn’t make that last Context Train that left 5 minutes ago.

As a small child that played hella video games, playing this for hours on end did not make me want to run out and a get a fur coat made out of raccoons. I didn’t even know this raccoon was a real thing until like, a few years ago. I thought everything in that game was made up. There was no hidden message unless you count the WHY ISNT THIS REAL? always going on in the back of my mind. Mario also wore a frog suit and well, yean.

Oh PETA, I just….

This next winner comes from Jezebel via NewAgeAmazon: The Hurt Feelings Report

When I see stuff like this, I’m all:

and then I:

REALLY? REALLY? UGH. If you didn’t read the article, the person that created this was a football coach that had had enough of hearing about all this anti-bullying nonsense. The coach made this to show those in his care what’s what. That’ll show em!

Obviously people got mad and the coach resigned but now he’s a GUIDANCE COUNCELOR. How does that even work? Everything is all topsy turvy in this world so we have to fight bigots with gifs:

I thought guidance councelors were supposed to be supportive of all types of students. I could be wrong though. All my guidance councelor guided me to was the door because he was always busy so whatever.

When you have people like this in the world, no wonder why no one wants to be themselves. Way to make school even less of the party it already isn’t. School is hard enough just dealing with your peers and then we have adults like this acting worse than children.

Since I probably ruined your day, here is a picture of a cat doing what I feel: