JesusWeen: Ruining Halloween Since Whenever

Halloween is awesome. I get to put on my good heels and nobody is none the wiser. No one questions my ability to high kick after 2 sturdy mai tai’s and a shot of Jose Cuervo. Everyone thinks that my angora sweater is going to some lucky beard after Halloween but it’s not. It’s going back in my special “play clothes” box that I keep hidden in my closet and bring out only when my blinds are drawn shut.

The point I am trying to make is that Halloween is a time to cast aside all those foolish notions of how you are supposed to act and who you are supposed to be. It is a time for make believe and reverie.

Halloween is supposed to be fun and sugar filled and party time. It’s the day when we can confront the things that go bump in the night and scare us. It’s not supposed to be this:

Images: Internet

I don’t know if anyone has told you, but y’all have CHRISTMAS, EASTER, and whatever other weird holidays you’ve appropriated from other religions and passed off as your own. Let me celebrate the Black Mass and get my pagan on just once a year. That’s all I am asking.

I am not going to be all “BOO CHRISTIANS” and all of that because “they aren’t all the same.” You guys, my parents are Christian. I am tolerant of their lifestyle choices. I let them be whomever they want because I love them. This, however, is literally people putting their hands in the cookie jar (candy bowl) and toying with my emotions. I’M SELFISH.

Anyway, I am not going to tell you how to feel because I am not very good at arguing and I am lazy. If you want to read more about JesusWeen (LOL WEEN I’M ETERNALLY AN 8 YEAR OLD), you can go to their website, read stuff, and come up with your own conclusions.

What do you think of JesusWeen?