Things I Don’t Understand: The Emmy’s

The Emmys are this weekend, right? I can only imagine that they are because I keep hearing about them. Obviously, I don’t watch hella television, so almost all of these shows are a mystery to me and not a muse to me. I totally just thought of that Madonna song just now, did you?

Since I don’t know what most of these shows are, I thought I would show you the trailer from the shows being nominated that sound somewhat interesting and then guessing what the heck the show is about. You can tell me if I am right or wrong in the comments.

Boardwalk Empire

So pretty much Mr. Pink is even more of a bad ass and is a total boss. People wear suits and it’s all old tyme and there’s booze and naked times because the two go hand in hand. Then, I guess Tommy Gnosis shows up and is all like the dude that starts from the bottom and works his way up or whatever and he looks like a paper boy. The end.

Game of Thrones

NGL, I saw this and I’m reading it so I am just going to give you a synopsis of it. Basically, it’s Lord of the Rings without Orcs and the wizards suck because their only power seems to be dispensing “milk of the poppy.” Anyway, so like this dude that looks like The Rock marries a 13 year old and there’s a lot of swords and people die and plot twists and House Stark is the best ever. Oh and then Robert Arryn is weird and sickly. I could go on but I am going to stop.

If this show doesn’t win an Emmy, I will let all the judges meet Ned’s friend, Ice. DYSWIDT?

The Big Bang Theory

I already don’t care about this show. The name is misleading. This show is not about the singularity (but it is about singles, sort of) and it isn’t a dirty movie, so IDGAF. From what I can gather, nerds (dudes in Green Lantern shirts/bowl haircuts/etc.) go on wild escapades to further their sex lives while an annoying laugh track let’s us know when it’s okay to laugh. Don’t currrr. Next.

Mad Men

I am already bored. It’s cool that everyone is dressed all awesome. That’s bad ass except pretty much the dudes are just being all dude-bro frat club and letting the wumunz know that they belong at the typewriter or something. Great. But it’s just a show on the telly, right? Oh and f the fact that they smoke in their damn offices. Do you know how annoying that would be? SOME OF US HAVE ASTHMA.

Nurse Jackie

TBQH, this actually looks interesting. Why? Let me tell you. Well, this nurse lady does a bunch of the secks in the hospital she works at and she steals pills for her own self medication. She is also a total bad ass in the ER and can’t no one tell her what to do because she pretty much knows everything. I want to be Nurse Jackie.

That about does it for me. I will leave you with this though. Why do Reality TV shows have a catergory? I love me some Antiques Roadshow like the next gay (I mean guy), but no. This isn’t television. I mean who cares about people taking cameras into the house of a recluse that hasn’t been able to get rid of all their bags of Lays potato chips ever since the day their pug named Captain Sprinkles ran away from home?

Guess what? True Blood is up for some stuff and if they don’t win, I will annoy them with Sookie’s choices and her voice.

BTW, JSYK, Adventure Time is up for something but I don’t remember what exactly (Google, help!). Since no one is really going to watch the Emmys except for Yasi because she wants Burn Notice to win the “Best Show to Watch Before Bedtime/After Applesauce” Award, let’s just have a party and pretend it never happened.